You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.


Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.


About Elsol

Naran balakumar is a herbalist practising bach flower therapy for the last 21 years. Naran is a Reiki master teacher.

Posted on October 15, 2012, in Affirmations, Family, Forgiveness, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 37 Comments.

  1. Dear Sir,

    My girlfriend has started talking to me now. I thank God and you for the same.
    But the misunderstanding still persists. She still has all the misunderstanding about me and my family. I have tried a lot to clarify things to her but she’s not ready to accept what I am saying and still believes what she thinks is truth. But this is not so. Whatever happened was totally unintentional and she misunderstood my mom and thought my mom tried to insult her. But my mom didnt even have a thought of it that she would take her words in that way. my mom even said sorry to her on phone but she is still not ready to believe.
    I feel very bad that my mom had to say sorry to her.
    I just want that our relation doesnt get spoiled due to a misunderstanding. She should understand this thing by herself because by watever means I try to convince her, she just dont believe that. But I know that I and my family never meant to hurt her but its her thinking that is ruining everything. The best thing for this would be self realization.
    Can you pls suggest on this?


  2. Kishor,
    Take the flower remedies chicory willow holly pine mimulus eacfh 2 pills two times a day. for one month

  3. Thank you Naran Sir. But I will not be able to come to the chennai center to get the flower remedies due to office work. Can you pls suggest any SW that would be doing the same thing. It would be very helpful of you sir.


    • You can buy them from the local homeopathy shop

      • Ok Sir. Thanks for the quick response.

      • Sir,

        I wanted to share here that sometimes I feel that somebody who doesn’t want me and my love to meet has done something over us. Some negative energy is not letting us come together. Because there are some people who don’t want that we should get married.
        Whenever I try to talk nicely with her, I don’t know what happens to her and she says something that hurts me and seems like she
        doesn’t want to come back to me.
        What could be the solution if this is the case?


        • Naran Sir,

          When my gf started to talk to me again, I thought that she is trying to settle all the issues and trying to come back. But whenever we talked, she said that she is trying to forget me. And that hurt me a lot. 2 days ago i asked her that “u started to talk to me, so i thought that u would be trying to come back to me. But u r saying that u r trying to forget me”. On this she again started arguing with me. I asked her to clearly say what exactly she wants. Day before she messaged me saying that “u r too good, but i cant gather the strength to come back to u remembering all the fights we had. i dont know if i will get the love like you gave me and dont know how that person will be who will come in my life, but i dont want to get into fights with you again.”
          This response from her totally shattered me. I dont know what to do. But I know one thing that my love for her is pure. I cannot even think of going to any other girl and having a relation with anybody else. I can make up my mind to forget her n remove all her memories from my life, but when i remember all those sweet memories that we had in these 2 years, I feel that how can i just remove all of them like that, they were so special for us. I just want her to come back to me for all those good times that we had together and forget the issues that we had and live a happy life going forward. Fights and misunderstandings happen everywhere, but it doesnt mean that someone should break the relation for that. One should try to understand the issues from a different perspective also and not just look it from only one angle from which the problem occurred. Sometimes i fear that she might have left me because someone else might have come in her life. This is something that my friends tell me. Becoz, the reason she gave for the breakoff doesnt at all justify my mistakes. All the past things she has brought in to break the relationship. But somewhere i do not believe from my heart that this might be the case. I m so confused.
          I read in this blog that u suggested to someone to chant the sw “adjust change divine love thanks” to get her ex back.
          Can i chant the same or do u suggest something else… Pls reply soon sir.


          • Kishor,
            chant GENTIAN CHICORY HONEYSUCKLE HORNBEAM 100 or two hundred times.
            Dont get your life get stuck.

            • Thanks for your response sir. Yesterday when I met her, i realized that she still loves me but has as fear in her mind that if she comes back, again those fights will take place and again my family would hurt her. I want her to get strong because we should understand other people and not mind them much. We should give importance to the one with whom we have to spend our life.
              I will chant the SWs suggested by you so that my life doesnt get stuck. But if you could suggest something that brings her out of the fear. I m trying to do this because her thinking is like that if anybody says even a small thing about her, she just cant stand it and gets angry. Now just for a small thing or a misunderstanding, i wud say, she fears to come back to me. But will it make her strong enough that if in future if she marries someone else and if that person says something which she doesnt like, she will understand that. With the current thinking she would react the same way and at that time what will she do…After marriage she would feel that she is stuck. This is my big concern for her. Thats why I wanted to try everything that makes her realize that breaking relations is not the recommended option. You need to understand people, forgive people and maintain harmony amongst.
              Sir, if you could suggest something for this, I will be grateful to you. Because whatever I am trying from my side, someone may think I am being selfish to get her back. But I am doing it for my love, for her.
              I know you must be having very less time as you must be getting so many requests from so many people and I am really very sorry to bother you so many times.
              But if you feel I am true, my love is true, pls help me.


  4. Even 3 weeks ago I would have seen Naran’s response as cruel. Can’t you see that she is suffering?! Now I understand. We are attracting the circumstance based on the inside. We call this to us. I can really see that now. For this woman I would suggest EFT and total acceptance f everything that is before you try to change anything…even anything about yourself. EFT helped me to bring some of the intensity down and then things started to change by themselves. I am seeing miracles…but I had to do the work of looking within first. Please do what Naran tells you to. Even if it seems like he is not sympathizing with you…this is true aid. Not pity.
    Thank you for the opportunity.

  5. Hi Naran,
    First I would like to thank you for all the help I’ve received from you thus far….I wish to be reunited with an ex and would like to know what switchwords to chant.
    Thank You

  6. Nicole,
    chant adjust change divine love thanks

  7. Sir!
    i am experiencing peculiar problem.My husband lost job and not got one.Somedays i feel pity somedys i feel why i deserve -all are happy and i have to suffer-we never indulge yet we suffer .how i keep my mind everyday in same status -neither sad nor very happyplease suggest remedy.

  8. sir, u asked me to consult wid an allopathy doc fr my rt ankle pain and report to u. But nw the pain has reduced soo much tat feel it lightly only wen i think abt it. So if it persists wil go consult or else wil leave. Thank u sir.

    • Hello sir, I have a very strange problem, my husband gives so much importance to others specially his family..that i always feel neglected. Also, my Father in law always try to catch hold of him. and try to keep him away from me. This is causing problems in our relationship. I want my husband back and want his family should stay away from us. PLeas esuggest what to do i am getting depressed by his actions.

  9. Hello Naran Sir, I stumbled across your site while browsing mudras. it is very informative. Requesting your help and advise. My fiance broke up with me for no fault of mine. It has really hurt me in all ways. I would like him to get back with me and marry me and we be content and happy with each other. Is there any way, if so – please advise. thank you so much.

  10. CHARLIE,
    Be in the following mudra for 15 minutes.
    (Both hands)Thumb touching the first three fingers. The little finger is not touched; it is kept away.
    Be in this mudra and chant CHANGE DIVINE ORDER

    After15 minutes, let the right hand touch little and ring fingers and the left hand touch the middle finger and ring finger. Be in this mudra for 15 more minutes and chant THANKS TOGETHER DIVINE.

  11. Hi Naran Sir, For “THANKS TOGETHER DIVINE” – do you mean the right thumb to touch little and ring finters and the left thumb to touch the middle and the ring fingers. ( as it says hand in your message or is the intent just to bend the fingers to the palm ). Please advise and also if there is something more I can do to achieve results, thanks again.

  12. There is a financial crisis in our home. Plz suggest me some magical words

  13. Dear visitors! Ask all your questions on the website Naran will not answer here. Naran answers your questions on the website Best of luck and divine grace 🙂

  14. Namaste sir,
    I have a elder brother he is married and have a 2yr old son.
    he doesn’t care about his responsibility.
    He is very rude to his mom, because of this he is not in good terms with his mom, and sometimes to his wife . Sometimes he says he ia not happy with his job
    besides making him understand, he doesn’t listen.
    Pls help sir,
    Any switch words his wife can chant to avoid all such problems.

    Thnk u sir.

  15. Hello sir…. i want forgiveness frm my husband.. i ve hurt him deeply…. i had pre marital affair but we cudn marry…. wen i married my hubby i dint tell him anything…. but after 4 years of marriage i confessed everything to my hubby n even told him tht i was not a virgin….. ever sinc my hubby has nit forgiven me.. its been more dan 5 years now after d confession … we live together but not like couple … jus like care taker fr our 2 kids…. he has told me he willnvr forgive me… no one knows abt our tiffs… he has started ignoring my parents too.. they r v hurt by his behavior.. i m chanting hoponopono almost events…. wht can i do to make him forgive me n live happily wid me and behave normally wid my parents….. thanku Divine

  16. Me n parth love each other n want to marry…..our parents and families are rigid….we have to ready both paretns and families for our Marriage….Can U give switchwors for that? Is dis also chant by parth?

    Sir its urgent help Us…..jus waiting for ur reply

    • Naran jiIts urgent….can u give switchword and solutions by mail?

      Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    • Dear Naran Sir, I am in Love with a person from 1 year. We both wanted to get married very soon. But from last week he is not being in contact with me. His parents forced him to cut my relationship as my parent’s are not interested in this proposal. I am more connected to him mentally as a wife and a life partner than just a lover. so i dont want to break up our relationship. please help me sir. please suggest any switch words. i want him back into my life as my life partner. please help me. waiting for your kind response sir. thanks

  17. Namaste Sir,

    I was married 5 years back and 3 years ago my husband fought with me for no good reason, as he is a very angry person and in that angry mood he left our place stating that our marriage is not marriage as we didn’t get the blessings of our parents as ours was love marriage and went to his sister’s house and after one month his sister called and said to me that my husband left her place ad she doesn’t know where he is, and from then I am really worried about my husband searching everywhere, and whenever I try to inquire about my husband my sister-in-law shouts and abuses me by not giving me any information just by diverting the topic and situation as if it is a play, as she always tried to separate us by brainwashing both of us. But still, I always controlled myself and talked politely and nicely with her to get to know about my husband, but once in one of her conversation she said that he is settled elsewhere and asking me to move out, but I don’t believe her words because none of his friends know anywhere about of my husband as he was very dear and close to them too because they too are trying to find about him from 3 years. Please help me in my situation so that my husband should come back to me happily and forever I can live happily with my husband under the same roof with Divine Abundance and with our children together with Divine Abundance. please suggest switch word remedies for my case and my husband should be kind, caring, loving, loyal, faithful devoted, committed and spiritual-minded man towards me. Also, help me to have good relations with my in-laws too to get the love, care and respect from them too and protection for my husband who is my family.

    Thank you Sir.

  18. Sir
    I am mother of two year child.i got married four years husband is working in desert area in Arab countries.still we didn’t get United because of job.i am trying to get new job in abroad to live together with my husband and children.

  19. Sir
    I have a divorce case running with my husband. My 18 yr daugter stays with him who donot give her I.S.C Exam 2020 & blame this for me. My husband has extramarital affair & want divorce. He also humiliated me in facebook & U tube also. I want my husband & daughter back. Please help me.

  1. Pingback: Stop Divorce Proceedings

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