I love to take control of my life


  1. Reflect on your life.
  2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

About Elsol

Naran balakumar is a herbalist practising bach flower therapy for the last 21 years. Naran is a Reiki master teacher.

Posted on September 3, 2013, in Affirmations, Bach Flower Remedy, Family, Forgiveness, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Thank you. This was a big black in my min before. Stopping blame has been difficult for me. It makes you happier for sure. I will keep letting go of blame.

    • I was chatting with Naran regarding the results of releasing the part.

      His affirmation to me, “I release the part that ignores (blames) him. I align with the part that loves (praises) him”.

      The content in bracket was my suggestion.

      He changed activate to align as he found Align works better than activate.

      An example, “Ignoring part is one gramophone record. Loving part is another. We are the persons who change the music by taking the needle from one record to another” – Naran

      • gramophone needle is such a wonderful eg. immediately it ‘clicks’, similar to changing the tv or radio channel switch-only sometimes, often? we wish the other person would change forgetting the remote is in whose hand. ko hum, na hum, so hum as in the healing cd.

  2. I also have an issue, although the article is insightful, when we say that divine is the doer, I am not the doer, it does give a freedom from all the burdens…but in this case are we not being deprived of the motive to do something which comes when we accept that we are totally responsible for all the situation in which we are. would the human being not loose motive to move ahead in life, if he believes that divine is the doer, i am not, then why should he care if he is doing something right or wrong because then also divine is responsible, can you please throw some light on this confusion?? I know I am sounding vague here, but I do loose motive to do something right and become lazy when I remember of this statement..

    • When one fully accepts the divine doer concept, one aligns with the higher mind, totally submitting oneself to the will of the divine. When you do the work on hand as given by the divine, you will do reverentially. Your total concentration is on work. Extend this ownership and you will find others as divine. Work is divine. Doer of the work is divine. Done for what / the result is divine. Done for whom? that person is divine.
      There is only love in the heart. There is only joy in the heart. There is only peace in the mind.

  3. “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”. sir, is REAL..TRUTH. 🙂

    fortunately not with me so far but..just in a light vein sir.

    yest a poor lil boy all of six/seven who was carrying tea and kettle was knocked by a vehicle that sweved to him and truly he wasn’t at fault. luckily he wasnt hurt but the kettle fell down and wonder what fate awaited him at employer. I tried to send postive thoughts that his employer would be kind.

    “i’m not the doer. today is not mine. this life is not mine. swaha idham namama” -naran sir, your mantra frm old posts, now mine when i can recall it. other times the blog and the center is rescue remedy for sufferring souls like us.

  4. please tell me how to get back my control over my life? my mil has a tendency to control every one. she has an attention seeking disorder. my husband also is somewhat like that. kindly tell me what to do and how……please please please please….thank u in advance.

    • please help me get back my control over my life……please naran sir…..kindly answer me…thank u in advance..

  5. sir,i went through your blog and learnt that we have right to do our duties only but results are with GOD.i;e. .man proposes God disposes. b.dash.

  6. hi naran i want to know how i can change my life by doing any switch word ..i m very lazy .i dont feel like to do anytging and i always feel tired pls plssssssssss help me .i realy need your help and i also want to get early in the mornig and do exercise..i have ashthma problem also pls help …..

  7. Hello ,

    Could I ask a suggestion for someone effected with black magic or spirit or negative energy. I have someone just beside me & its a sorry state to see a guy who is a host, people & life lover, musician , comedian is today just sitting all in his own with his own emotions beyond his control. Everything has been tried – medical science reveals no finding, even a few remedies (tabiz) is given but nothing seems working since 3 years ..

    Is there a suggestable remedy here ???

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