Category Archives: Family

I love to take control of my life

Naran

  1. Reflect on your life.
  2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

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Why can’t I be happy?

Client

I had been trying out all the mantras and switch words you had suggested to me. I had been religiously taking the remedies you had recommended. Yet I am not seeing the results I want.

I still don’t have a good job.  My marriage is in shambles. Neither my parents nor my in-laws are happy about me.

Luckily, I am yet to have kids. Otherwise, I am afraid they will be cursing me too.

My simple question to you is, “Why can’t I be happy and lead a satisfactory life-like others?”

Sorry! I am feeling very skeptical here and feeling much disappointed too.

Naran

A Few questions to you first

What is “Thanks”?

What is “Acceptance”?

Why should we accept everything totally – whether what is happening in our life is to our liking or not?

When I am lucky…

I want.

I pray.

I get what I want.

I thank the Divine.

But I forget to pray for others who have not got because of my getting.

When I am not lucky…

I want.

I pray.

But, I am denied.

I feel sad or angry instead of thanking for not getting what I want.

In other words, I am resenting the gift to someone.

This sadness of anger over my not getting is truly resenting others and denying the Divine Order by violating the quantum law:  “All is one. One is all”.

Why can’t I be unhappy, when I fail, you may ask?

When I resent or feel sad, I cannot receive when my turn comes (yes! it comes to you one day for sure).

Therefore, when I am denied, I accept and thank god for giving to someone.

I thank God, because my prayers got someone what he wanted.

Denial to me is a gift to someone who needs more than me.

So I Thank the Divine

Let me feel happy about it.

Let me accept it.

With OPEN HEART and QUIET MIND, I ACCEPT and THANK the DIVINE for anything and everything in my life.

I thank when I receive.

I thank when I am denied, while others receive.

So I Thank the Divine in Advance, for one day, my wants will be fulfilled, my prayers will be answered, and I will receive the gifts I desire as I have understood today that my acceptance and attitude of gratitude at any stage will get me everything, when my turn comes.

Intention is not to Acquire Money

ABC

I like your blog. In fact, I wait for new articles but I feel something to say.

My aim is not to hurt anyone but when I read something like ‘We want share from in-laws to purchase property and please tell us some mantra’, I wanted to ask the questions.

After taking their share, you know, in these times, who does care for the parents? How could you know their intention?

Naran

Very interesting question!

I need not know the intention. The suggestion of any mantra or Bach flower remedies is not to get the share or what one wants. By chanting the mantra or words, one evolves mentally to have a higher perception.

Let us see the comment below, where they want a share of their in-laws property.

Ms. G

Currently we are facing plenty of problems in our rented house. I need my husband’s share from my in-laws to purchase one on our own. Please suggest remedies so that in-laws should give our share whole-heartedly themselves.

Naran

Chant ‘BALSAM, CHICORY’ as many times as possible

The reasons for giving those remedies were:

By chanting Balsam and Chicory, our hearts will open up by going beyond material possessions. As a by-product, one might get their due share too.

Why we need to heal the person instead of directly helping them to acquire their share?

If they don’t get healed then they will face a similar situation in the future or in their next life-time(s). By healing themselves, they will avoid such situations.

When Prahaladha asked Lord Narayanan to give him the blessings of chanting the name of Narayanan always, he was given that blessing along with the boon that his past seven generations as well as his future generations will attain Moksha (heaven). On top of that, he was given the boon to rule his kingdom for 10,000 years.

This is my intention – to heal the person. The rest of the material aspects will follow them automatically, without fail. However, that is not my Intention!!!

You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

To Create a Better Future Look Back and Not Forward

When you do the healing, you heal your goals. For example, you may chant the Ambika mantra on behalf of your children, isn’t it?

Yes children are our FUTURE. If they do well then it means we have done well too.

Children are our future, which means we are the PRESENT. Then who is our past?

It is our parents. Parents are our PAST.

You heal your present to heal your future. In the same way, when you heal your PAST – your parents – you heal your PRESENT, and in turn your FUTURE – yours as well as your children.

Therefore, to create a better future, don’t look forward, but look back. It is a safer and a better solution than you have so far followed in your life.

I am loved (by all)

Naran

Suja (name changed) asked me at the end of the workshop “I Love Myself”, whether she can pay a visit to her paternal uncle’s place. She was invited for a housing ceremony. She had some apprehensions because, her visits to her uncle’s always created tension and disharmony.

I told her it’s alright to go. If she faces any problems she can always leave the function midway.

She finished the workshop and did all the mental exercises I asked the participants to do. At the end of the workshop, I told the participants to complete all the exercises that they didn’t do in the class, within a week from the day of the workshop.

Somehow, Suja felt that she should at least do one exercise on the same day of the workshop and the day before she attends the function on Sunday. She picked the first one in the workbook, under the affirmation” I AM LOVED”. Instead of doing the exercises, she simply chanted the affirmation for more than an hour.

On Sunday, she visited her uncle’s house along with her husband. During the function one of her relatives lost six thousand rupees. Somebody stole it from him. The servant who works for her uncle was suspected of taking the money, though it couldn’t be proved.

During this commotion, Suja silently chanted the Bach Flower Remedies, “ROCK WATER and CHESTNUTBUD” – a good combination when you lose something.  Within an hour, her uncle was able to get a confession from his servant, as well as the money that she stole.

Her uncle asked Suja what she was doing during the commotion as she was seemed to be in a trance the whole time. She replied that she was chanting the name of flower remedies. He was happy to hear this and his family, friends and relatives too. They openly complimented her for her selfless efforts. On hearing it, she got elated and felt loved.

I came to know the whole story through her husband who thought I am the reason for the appreciation she received from her relatives, who were always ill-treating her.

Explanation

She picked the one affirmation from the workbook, which was the need for the hour. And what made her to pick that? It was picked by that part of her mind that was activated because she did all the exercises sincerely. She is one of my students who religiously do whatever I tell them to do. Interestingly even though she was listening to the “I Love Myself” CD for more than a month, only after doing the exercises she was able to tap the resource that helped her to receive the love that she expecting from her uncle.

Lessons Learned

For some issues, you will find solution easily. Even for issues that are pending to be resolved for several years can be resolved easily by following a simple technique. However, some other issue mayn’t die down easily. You need to do a lot of work to resolve it. For the same reason, I want my fellow travelers in the healing path not to give up on their chronic problems and instead dig deeper to solve them.

Also note that there is no single technique that is applicable to everyone in the world. What works for one – say a Mudra technique to reduce heart palpitation, may not work for others. They may need Bach Flower Remedies as well Gem remedies. In addition, what works today may not work tomorrow.

Therefore, be open to various healing methods. Have Trust in the one divine power to find out what will work for you today. Surely Divine is waiting out there to help you out.

Good Luck

My child is attached to my mother-in-law

In this world there are four rules:

  • You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
  • You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.

In between these two rules, how to create what we want?

  • To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
  • When you like what you get, you get what you want.

A case history

Radha

My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.

However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”

My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.

Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!

Naran

There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD:  http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/

Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.

  • Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
  • Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
  • Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”

Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.

Radha

When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.

Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.

Naran

What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.

Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?

Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.

Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.

Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.

Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.

Take the remedies. You will understand.

Managing a Rogue Husband

Deepa told me few months back, “My husband is a rogue. I want to divorce him. How can I compromise on this issue?”

  1. I gave her Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy and Holy.
  2. I asked her to do the acceptance Mudra and do the affirmations. Please check the link:
  3. I asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made him. This is how god wants him to behave. With him, there is something I need to learn.”  The very statement may appear simple. But, it works very well with couples.
  4. I also asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made me. Let me not interfere with Divine Will. I am happy to accept God’s Will and Divine Order from today”.

Acceptance will come when you understand there is a divine purpose behind everything and if we do not to interfere with the Divine Order. When you accept, automatically a new pattern of thinking will come and you will feel a new surge of energy.

Change in you will change the other person. We only need to have patience and acceptance. Then alone we can adjust to our circumstances. Life is nothing but adjustment and comprise. That’s the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut! (Take Walnut or chant the Switch Word ‘Adjust’)

Feedback from Deepa

“Till today I feel alright. I have become a new person. I could accept my husband as he is”. 

Naran S. Balakumar: Whenever she meets me, she used to say, “These affirmations are so divine that the moment I think about them, unusual peace dawns on me and all my anger vanishes.”

Moving in the Right Direction

The following discussion happened between Kumar and Naran a couple of years back on how to be successful and happy in both family front and work-front.

Kumar

Even though I am doing well in the job front like getting due recognition and awards for the work done, somehow I do not feel cheerful or happy about anything.

Neither the stuff at home seems to be going in the right direction. My wife is worried about our children because of their indifference and inadequate efforts towards their education and life in general.

I am not in my best of my abilities. Need to get back to Flowers, Reiki and Affirmations. Somehow, I would like to see myself getting back to my rhythm.

Naran S. Balakumar

It is the nature of mind to keep you either down or up. Understand and believe that you are not your mind. Rise up.

We all have taken birth as per the Divine Will and by Divine order.

Our Family, our Friends and our Environment always teach us. Every relationship is a blessing and we have to rise through these relationships. Everybody is there in your life, as per the divine order and we should try to love and heal them and make them come up in the ladder of life. Whether they come up or not it is their choice. Do not have expectations about anybody. Your children will definitely come up in their life – but in their own way.

Fill up your mind with enthusiasm and believe that everything happens as per the divine order. When you believe that whatever happens is not good for you, chant (daily) the Switch Words, ” TOGETHER FIND DIVINE ORDER BE NOW DONE”. This will put you back in life.

Using switch words is nothing but accepting and surrender. We do not know what will happen and we will be surprised at the turn of events after chanting.

Feedback from Kumar

I have started chanting from last night. It was a great feeling of relief and clarity. I read it to my wife and she is chanting too.

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