Inappropriate Love

Grace

Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.

Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!

I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.

Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for this man.

Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.

Grace

Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!

Naran

Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).

Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.

You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.

Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.

Grace

I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.

I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.

Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace

Naran

A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.

I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.

Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).

When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.

Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.

Karma Vs Free Will

(From a telephone conversation)

Ranga

On one hand, you say our life is pre-destined. On the other hand, you also say we need to heal ourselves. I think, you are contradicting yourself.

Naran

As you are calling me, I am trying to fix my scissors, which is broken – one side of it is blunt, and so I am not able to use it. All of us know the fact that both the pieces of scissors are required for it to be useful, as one piece of scissors alone cannot do the job (of cutting).

Likewise, Karma and Free Will are two parts of healing that we have in life. One part alone cannot do the trick.

Healing transforms and changes a person.

Are we not using our free-will in our life?

No. We do every action unconsciously. We feel, think and behave over which we have no control as we feel and behave like a robot. Thus, we are operating from our lower free-will.

Healing uses higher free-will to bring internal change in a person, to effect a conscious behavior. Healing teaches you to choose the empowering emotions to change your attitude to your life. In addition, healing doesn’t alter anything outside of one. It is happening inside us.

What happens when we use our lower free-will?

When we use our lower free-will we are ruled by our emotions. For example, when there is a conflict, we use angry words. How can anger resolve anger (conflict)?

Thus, we add more to our karma, staying in troubled waters. How does somebody who is also in troubled water can save us? Only a person above the water – a person not influenced by his emotions, can help us. Such persons operate from their higher free-will, overcoming Karma and lessening it.

Both Karma and Healing help us learn our life lessons

Karma teaches us some lessons that make us whole and complete. If we don’t learn our lessons, our life is repeated in the same fashion – meaning the same karma in action.

So both, healing and karma do the same job in a different way. Both are required.

If somebody thinks that he can achieve anything in life by healing, he will fail for sure, as he is limited by his karma.

On the other hand, if somebody believes that he is destined to live in a particular way, then he will also fail, as we can heal our karma, by bringing an internal change.

What is an internal change? Internal change is nothing but evolving to ascend.

Thus, both Karma and Higher Free-will are required by us, to make our life whole and complete.

Let us have a Bond of Love and Not Anger!!!

Suresh

How to cure the shifted navel please suggest mantras switch words or any other techniques

Naran

Who said your navel has shifted? What is the symptom of this?

Suresh

Nobody has to say this if you don’t know anything about it then say so. Read Devendra Vora’s book and you will understand.

Naran
Dear Suresh,

I think you are new to this blog.

I am not treating any physical condition. By naming a condition, we maintain that problem. Whatever be the disease, they manifest as symptoms, which only are important to me.

The physical symptoms are true reflectors of our state of mind. The words you use to describe the symptoms are not mere words. They reflect your life pattern. They vindicate the predominant emotion or thought behind the disease.

The healing mantras or Mudras or switch words I suggest will heal and change the internal mind chemistry.

Once you internally change your outlook on the disease changes. This change in the mind brings in awareness and this awareness allows the inner power to work for the divine order which we term as health.

I am suggesting anything to bring in internal change in people.

You have asked me to read Devendra Vora’s book HEALTH IN YOUR HANDS. He has written books on Mudras, Reflexology. Devendra Vora has concentrated on the physical problems only.

My field is different. I am concerned more about changing the mind.

If anybody wants a genuine answer, he is welcome to this blog. I don’t want people to get angry at what I say.

By being in survival emotions, like anger, worry fear sadness, we cannot achieve anything.

How will one get love and affection by being always in a state of anger?

How will one get happiness by being always in a state of blaming?

How will one get peace by always being in a state of worry?

How will one get harmony by always being in a state of quarrel?

If you get angry with me, you are keeping a bond of anger between yourself and me. This may not be good either to you or me.

If at all there is a bond between me and you, let it be a bond of love; let it a be a bond of healing.

How and why we need to forgive others

For more detailed explanation on Why we need to forgive others and How to forgive others, please refer the book: “Forgiveness How and Why”, written by Naran S. Balakumar.

Jay

I have a problem letting go or forgiving people. Is there any switch word for it?

Naran

If you don’t do the forgiving exercise, you will undergo same emotions, even though situations may be different.

If you do not want to meet or interact with same people in future, Forgiving is the only way.

There is no shortcut for letting go the resentment and anger.

Do not act from ego; have higher perception and think that every event in our life is happening as per our desire. Before taking the birth, I want this life with these people to mend my life. But unfortunately after taking birth, we forget our commitment.  When the situation is created as per our desire, instead of learning lessons and moving forward, we get stuck and we refuse to forget or forgive.

What is the one that prevents you from forgiving? Release that and do it.

I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me. This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.

Jay

Do I just have to fill the name or action that upsets me?

Naran

 “I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me”.

Take a person with whom you are angry. Insert his or her name in the space given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.

Forgiving Exercise

Affirm, “I (your name) Robert forgive you Ashok (replace with name of the person to be forgiven). You please forgive me and release me”.

This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.

Write a list of persons with whom you are angry. Take one person out of that list. Insert his or her name in the affirmation given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.

Questions regarding Forgiveness Exercise

Nayana

I have two queries related to Forgiving exercise.

I have too many people to forgive in my life, so please guide me how to forgive them with once for all.

I see my husband is having so much resentment in his life with so many people but he doesn’t try to do any of the exercise to forgive and forget. So is there anything I can do on behalf of him, as it’s affecting my life all the time.

Naran

1. Take a list of all of them. Do the forgiving for all. Take one at a time. Chant 200 times for each.
2. You cannot do anything for somebody’s sake. What is your predominant thought or emotion when you deal with him? Release that one by one. If one goes, another will come. Release that also.

My student is suffering from knee stiffness

One of my students, aged 59 years, is suffering from severe knee stiffness on her right knee. Sometimes it shifts to left knee too.

She has already learnt Reiki in Bombay. She has also learnt pranic healing.

Which mantra, or which Bach Flower Remedy can be given to her. She is already taking allopathic medicine. Can you please suggest?

Ganga Eswaran

There is an Ayurvedic product Danvantri Kulambu, sold in Ayurvedic shops. Ask her to apply it, daily on the knees and wash it with hot water after half an hour.

In addition, she needs to do the following:

1. Knees: (ask her to question within herself) in which areas of life she is inflexible?

Love is more important than any principles.

Let her chant, “Let divine love manifest within and around me”.

2. Let her take Bach flower remedies “ROCK WATER WALNUT HORNBEAM”.

3. Ask her to extend her thanks to her parents.

If she does not have good relationship with her parents, ask her to do the forgiving exercise.

Naran

Explanation

Rock Water: to reduce stubbornness and be flexible. Instead of living by principles alone, lead the life with Love

Walnut: move on with life, instead of getting stuck up with something or some emotion

Knees: will get affected if we have issues with parents. Issue with Mother will affect left knee and issue with father will affect right knee.

Refer this link to know more on how body is affected by our emotions and thoughts: http://healbymindbodymessages.wordpress.com/

Forgiveness Exercise: if you (Raju) have to forgive your mother then affirm, “I Raju forgive you my mother.  Please forgive me and release me”. Please note that this will release the anger about the concern person and not the relationship itself.

Managing a Rogue Husband

Deepa told me few months back, “My husband is a rogue. I want to divorce him. How can I compromise on this issue?”

1. I gave her Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy and Holy.
2. I asked her to do the acceptance Mudra and do the affirmations. Please check the link:
3. I asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made him. This is how god wants him to behave. With him, there is something I need to learn.”  The very statement may appear simple. But, it works very well with couples.
4. I also asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made me. Let me not interfere with Divine Will. I am happy to accept God’s Will and Divine Order from today”.

Acceptance will come when you understand there is a divine purpose behind everything and if we do not to interfere with the Divine Order. When you accept, automatically a new pattern of thinking will come and you will feel a new surge of energy.

Change in you will change the other person. We only need to have patience and acceptance. Then alone we can adjust to our circumstances. Life is nothing but adjustment and comprise. That’s the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut! (Take Walnut or chant the Switch Word ‘Adjust’)

Feedback from Deepa

“Till today I feel alright. I have become a new person. I could accept my husband as he is”. 

Naran S. Balakumar: Whenever she meets me, she used to say, “These affirmations are so divine that the moment I think about them, unusual peace dawns on me and all my anger vanishes.”

The need for forgiveness and the Story of Drona

Anger breeds anger. We can understand that with the help of the story of Drona – the greatest teacher in archery and who lived in ancient India.

Drona and prince Droupada studied together in the same gurukulam (school). They learnt from the same guru. While Drona was poor, Droupada was the son of a king. But, they were very good friends.

After their gurukulam was over, Droupada went to rule his kingdom. Drona got married and had a son by name Asuvatama. They were so poor, that they didn’t have money to buy milk for their son. They would mix flour in water and give it to him.

Drona’s wife asked him to approach king Droupada. Drona approached the king, who insulted him saying, “You are a poor Brahmin. Those days are gone. I am the king of entire Panchala Desam now. Don’t expect any favours from me”.

Drona became so angry that he wanted to wreak vengeance. He searched for a job. He got a job to teach archery to Pandavas. After the training was over, it was time for offerings to guru Drona. He asked Arjuna to defeat Droupada, tie him to the wheel of his chariot and bring him to Drona.

Arjuna Defeats Droupada

Arjuna defeated the king and brought him to Drona. He told Droupada, “You insulted me. See what happened to you now”.

Drona took the southern part of Panchala.

Was the incident over after this?

Droupada challenged that he will beget a son, through whom he will kill Drona. He did a penance to beget a son by name Drishtithyumna.

So many years elapsed. Just before the great Gurushetra war began, Dharmar (the head of Pandavas) – the eldest brother of Arjuna, prostrated to Drona – who was in the side of Gouravas – enemies of Pandavas, and sought his blessings.

Drona informed him, “Had you not come, you would have lost the battle. I will tell you the secret of killing me. If I receive any sad news, I will give up the battle. Ask somebody to kill me then”. Dharmar passed this info to Krishna.

During the battle, elephant Asuvatama was killed. Krishna spread the news saying that Asuvatama was killed in the battle. When Drona heard this, he asked Dharmar – who always spoke the truth. Krishna blew the conch at that time, making sure Drona did not hear anything except “Asuvatama killed”. Immediately Drona, threw his weapons away, and sat on the ground. Drishtithyumna reached him and cut his head.

Asuvatama Takes Revenge

Asuvatama came to know about this, and decided to take revenge against Pandavas. Pandavas were sleeping in the night then. He killed all the children of Pandavas.

Arjuna made a vow that he would kill Asuvatama. Eventually Asuvatama was defeated in the battle and was brought in front of Krishna. Krishna said, “Don’t kill Asuvatama, but forgive him instead”. His crop of his hair was removed by Arjuna and he was pardoned as Krishna requested for.

Asuvatama got angry and charged Pandavas with Brhmastram (it’s like an atom bomb). Abhimanyu’s wife was pregnant then. Krishna saved the child with his Sudarsana Chakra. His name was Parikshit.

Krishna got angry with Asuvatama and cursed him by saying, “You have so much revenge in your mind that you should live in this world without a company,  with no body to talk to, have no food or water, for next three thousand years”.

Lessons Learned

The revenge acts mentioned above are nothing but the acts of the mind. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of the mind to get angry and take revenge. The nature of Soul is to forgive, love and be in divine nature.

The Forgiveness Exercise

We might say there is some bad energy residing in the house. Hearing this, the house will get hurt. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Golden Gates Apartments. Please forgive me and release me”.

We would have commented about somebody behind their back. That’s also a form of anger. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Vivek. You forgive me and release me”.

“Release me” statement is important, as we are habitual in nature and we have to release that pattern. This forgiveness is nothing breaking the pattern – both our thinking patterns and thus our behaviour patterns.

Whenever you are angry about somebody, do this exercise. We have to chant like a mad person until relationship becomes good. In the last Janma we would have fought with them or others and so we repeat the same pattern. The persons are different and the events are different, but the emotions remain the same.

You can do this for good relationships too. The relationships will be strengthened in the process.

Dare 2 Do IT! (The forgiveness exercise)

The Besant Nagar Laughter Club followed this technique. They found it very helpful to them.

Stories for Life Part 3: Rama and Zen Tea

Zen Tea

There is a story about a Zen Master.

The master was making tea.

A person known to him visited him. The Zen Master offered him tea.

Then a stranger visited him. The master offered him tea too.

Watching this, his neighbour asked, why he offered tea to them – for both known and unknown persons.

As a reply to him, the Zen master offered tea to this neighbour too.

A Depressed Patient

June approached Naran S. Balakumar as she was having bouts of depression.

She tapped while she listening to the story of the Zen Master. Within four rounds of tapping, her laughter shook the hall.

Benefits of Listening to Story of Rama’s Pilgrimage to the Forest

1. To handle any disappointments and failures in life.
2. When you are not able to accept something because of anger, or in general when you are seething with anger/rage/fury, listen to the story and do tapping (EFT).
3. When you are worrying too much
4. Basically it is a story to accept what is happening to your life. This will bring in mental healing in you, which is very essential to life. Please read the explanation below.

When we suffer we feel why we have to go through it. After going through the bad experiences, we realise what  happened was right. Thus behind unhappiness we can find divine order as well as happiness.

Seeking pleasure and avoiding pain is the nature of mind. What is painful today may turn out to be pleasure tomorrow.

Therefore, accept totally whatever happens in your life. The  mere acceptance will bring in a state of calm – which is essential   to plan the next course of action.

Nobody can escape from doing something. Do whatever after  accepting it.

A mental state of unhappiness will only bring in more  unhappiness. To be happy, accept and be in a happy state, so as to find happiness in the events that occurs outside us.

This story was discussed in the Monthly Meet, April 2009. It is available in CD.