- Reflect on your life.
- Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.
Who is the controller of your life?
Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.
Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.
Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.
A tendency to blame others
We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.
In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.
When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.
“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history
One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.
Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).
One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.
The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.
When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.
Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life.
“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda
Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?
In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown, one either feels angry or feels depressed or worried.
What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?
If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself? Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.
If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.
How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?
- Ask a simple question to yourself. What do I want?
- What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
- What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
- On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?
If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.
But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.
In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.
If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.
The disadvantages of being in a state of victim
The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.
A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim. Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?
- Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
- Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.
Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.
This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.
We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.
How to cure the shifted navel please suggest mantras switch words or any other techniques
Who said your navel has shifted? What is the symptom of this?
Nobody has to say this if you don’t know anything about it then say so. Read Devendra Vora’s book and you will understand.
I think you are new to this blog.
I am not treating any physical condition. By naming a condition, we maintain that problem. Whatever be the disease, they manifest as symptoms, which only are important to me.
The physical symptoms are true reflectors of our state of mind. The words you use to describe the symptoms are not mere words. They reflect your life pattern. They vindicate the predominant emotion or thought behind the disease.
The healing mantras or Mudras or switch words I suggest will heal and change the internal mind chemistry.
Once you internally change your outlook on the disease changes. This change in the mind brings in awareness and this awareness allows the inner power to work for the divine order which we term as health.
I am suggesting anything to bring in internal change in people.
You have asked me to read Devendra Vora’s book HEALTH IN YOUR HANDS. He has written books on Mudras, Reflexology. Devendra Vora has concentrated on the physical problems only.
My field is different. I am concerned more about changing the mind.
If anybody wants a genuine answer, he is welcome to this blog. I don’t want people to get angry at what I say.
By being in survival emotions, like anger, worry fear sadness, we cannot achieve anything.
How will one get love and affection by being always in a state of anger?
How will one get happiness by being always in a state of blaming?
How will one get peace by always being in a state of worry?
How will one get harmony by always being in a state of quarrel?
If you get angry with me, you are keeping a bond of anger between yourself and me. This may not be good either to you or me.
If at all there is a bond between me and you, let it be a bond of love; let it a be a bond of healing.
In this world there are four rules:
- You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
- You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.
In between these two rules, how to create what we want?
- To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
- When you like what you get, you get what you want.
A case history
My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.
However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”
My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.
Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!
There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD: http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/
Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.
- Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
- Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
- Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”
Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.
When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.
Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.
What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.
Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?
Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.
Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.
Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.
Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.
Take the remedies. You will understand.