“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda
Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?
In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown, one either feels angry or feels depressed or worried.
What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?
If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself? Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.
If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.
How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?
- Ask a simple question to yourself. What do I want?
- What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
- What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
- On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?
If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.
But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.
In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.
If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.
The disadvantages of being in a state of victim
The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.
A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim. Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?
- Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
- Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.
Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.
This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.
We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.
Posted in Ask right questions, Forgiveness
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My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.
He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.
He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.
I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.
I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.
Don’t see anything outside. See within.
Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.
Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.
Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.
When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.
But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.
Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.
“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.
“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”
“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.
Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.
This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.
Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.
Posted in Affirmations, Family, Forgiveness, Life
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