“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda
Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?
In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown, one either feels angry or feels depressed or worried.
What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?
If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself? Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.
If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.
How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?
- Ask a simple question to yourself. What do I want?
- What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
- What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
- On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?
If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.
But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.
In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.
If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.
The disadvantages of being in a state of victim
The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.
A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim. Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?
- Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
- Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.
Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.
This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.
We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.
Suja (name changed) asked me at the end of the workshop “I Love Myself”, whether she can pay a visit to her paternal uncle’s place. She was invited for a housing ceremony. She had some apprehensions because, her visits to her uncle’s always created tension and disharmony.
I told her it’s alright to go. If she faces any problems she can always leave the function midway.
She finished the workshop and did all the mental exercises I asked the participants to do. At the end of the workshop, I told the participants to complete all the exercises that they didn’t do in the class, within a week from the day of the workshop.
Somehow, Suja felt that she should at least do one exercise on the same day of the workshop and the day before she attends the function on Sunday. She picked the first one in the workbook, under the affirmation” I AM LOVED”. Instead of doing the exercises, she simply chanted the affirmation for more than an hour.
On Sunday, she visited her uncle’s house along with her husband. During the function one of her relatives lost six thousand rupees. Somebody stole it from him. The servant who works for her uncle was suspected of taking the money, though it couldn’t be proved.
During this commotion, Suja silently chanted the Bach Flower Remedies, “ROCK WATER and CHESTNUTBUD” – a good combination when you lose something. Within an hour, her uncle was able to get a confession from his servant, as well as the money that she stole.
Her uncle asked Suja what she was doing during the commotion as she was seemed to be in a trance the whole time. She replied that she was chanting the name of flower remedies. He was happy to hear this and his family, friends and relatives too. They openly complimented her for her selfless efforts. On hearing it, she got elated and felt loved.
I came to know the whole story through her husband who thought I am the reason for the appreciation she received from her relatives, who were always ill-treating her.
She picked the one affirmation from the workbook, which was the need for the hour. And what made her to pick that? It was picked by that part of her mind that was activated because she did all the exercises sincerely. She is one of my students who religiously do whatever I tell them to do. Interestingly even though she was listening to the “I Love Myself” CD for more than a month, only after doing the exercises she was able to tap the resource that helped her to receive the love that she expecting from her uncle.
For some issues, you will find solution easily. Even for issues that are pending to be resolved for several years can be resolved easily by following a simple technique. However, some other issue mayn’t die down easily. You need to do a lot of work to resolve it. For the same reason, I want my fellow travelers in the healing path not to give up on their chronic problems and instead dig deeper to solve them.
Also note that there is no single technique that is applicable to everyone in the world. What works for one – say a Mudra technique to reduce heart palpitation, may not work for others. They may need Bach Flower Remedies as well Gem remedies. In addition, what works today may not work tomorrow.
Therefore, be open to various healing methods. Have Trust in the one divine power to find out what will work for you today. Surely Divine is waiting out there to help you out.