Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.
Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!
I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.
Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.
Do the forgiving exercise for this man.
Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.
Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!
Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).
Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.
You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.
Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.
I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.
I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.
Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace
A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.
I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.
Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).
When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.
Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.
From the “I Love Myself” Workbook
Do the following exercise
What should you eat and what you should not eat. Make a list and follow that to the core.
Sometimes body does not accept certain types of food. Yet, we try to eat the same food again and again.
Instead you have to prepare a list of items which you can eat and list out all those which your body does not accept.
When you prepare the list you are giving a commitment to your body and you need to follow that.
- Another thing is that whatever ways you behave outside we behave in the same manner with the body too. “I should not say this because the other person will be wounded”. Thinking like this, to please him, we tell a lie.
When you can’t meet a commitment, don’t make one
Suppose someone invites us for wedding. To please him we say that we will come definitely. But, we do not go to the wedding at all. I have also committed such mistakes.
Later on I found out that when I say something it is not a commitment to that person but it is a commitment to the God. I questioned myself, “Am I cheating the universe”?
Then I decided to tell the truth. If I am able to go I will say yes. Otherwise, I will say that I will not be able to make it.
Like that if you tell me that you are meeting me next week then it means that you are not making a commitment to me but you are committing to the Universe.
Commitment to our body
If one food is not being accepted by the body, we tell that I should not eat this food again. This is a commitment that you are giving to the Universe.
Next time when we eat that food again then we are breaking our own commitment.
The Universe is always watching all of us because it is the web of life. If I have to get my food at 1 p.m., it is already decided that it will come from a particular person.
By restraining yourself by not eating certain food, you are honoring your own body.
For more detailed explanation on Why we need to forgive others and How to forgive others, please refer the book: “Forgiveness How and Why”, written by Naran S. Balakumar.
I have a problem letting go or forgiving people. Is there any switch word for it?
If you don’t do the forgiving exercise, you will undergo same emotions, even though situations may be different.
If you do not want to meet or interact with same people in future, Forgiving is the only way.
There is no shortcut for letting go the resentment and anger.
Do not act from ego; have higher perception and think that every event in our life is happening as per our desire. Before taking the birth, I want this life with these people to mend my life. But unfortunately after taking birth, we forget our commitment. When the situation is created as per our desire, instead of learning lessons and moving forward, we get stuck and we refuse to forget or forgive.
What is the one that prevents you from forgiving? Release that and do it.
I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me. This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.
Do I just have to fill the name or action that upsets me?
“I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me”.
Take a person with whom you are angry. Insert his or her name in the space given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.
Affirm, “I (your name) Robert forgive you Ashok (replace with name of the person to be forgiven). You please forgive me and release me”.
This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.
Write a list of persons with whom you are angry. Take one person out of that list. Insert his or her name in the affirmation given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.
Questions regarding Forgiveness Exercise
I have two queries related to Forgiving exercise.
I have too many people to forgive in my life, so please guide me how to forgive them with once for all.
I see my husband is having so much resentment in his life with so many people but he doesn’t try to do any of the exercise to forgive and forget. So is there anything I can do on behalf of him, as it’s affecting my life all the time.
- Take a list of all of them. Do the forgiving for all. Take one at a time. Chant 200 times for each.
- You cannot do anything for somebody’s sake. What is your predominant thought or emotion when you deal with him? Release that one by one. If one goes, another will come. Release that also.