- Reflect on your life.
- Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.
Who is the controller of your life?
Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.
Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.
Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.
A tendency to blame others
We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.
In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.
When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.
“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history
One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.
Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).
One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.
The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.
When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.
Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life.
Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.
Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!
I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.
Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.
Do the forgiving exercise for this man.
Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.
Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!
Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).
Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.
You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.
Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.
I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.
I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.
Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace
A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.
I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.
Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).
When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.
Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.