Goal is to find harmony and happiness

“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda

Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?

In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown,  one either feels angry or feels  depressed  or worried.

What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?

If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself?  Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.

If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.

How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?

1. Ask a simple question to yourself.  What do I want?
2. What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
3. What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
4. On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?

If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.

But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.

In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.

If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.

The disadvantages of being in a state of victim

The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.

A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim.  Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?

• Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
• Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.

Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.

This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.

We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.

Inappropriate Love

Grace

Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.

Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!

I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.

Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for this man.

Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.

Grace

Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!

Naran

Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).

Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.

You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.

Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.

Grace

I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.

I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.

Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace

Naran

A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.

I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.

Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).

When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.

Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.

I deserve the best!!

An exercise to get the best – taken from the book – “I Love Myself’ Workbook

Naran

Ask the questions…

1. What is your purchase behavior?
2. Do you go for cheap and best?
3. Or only for the best?

Analyze your attitudes behind your purchasing habits

The funny thing is both are opposites. If you want something cheaper then you won’t get the best. Likewise, if you want the best then you won’t get it cheap either.

When will you deserve best?

I deserve the best means then you should not be influenced by anybody else’s decision. When will “I deserve the best” happen?

First, you have to find out when you give something, whether you give it without any inhibition.

4. Ask the question before you give, “Am I giving this without any inhibition?”

We discriminate in our treatment to others

When we attend a wedding, we give some presentation. Whatever we have in our house, we pack it and give it. There is so much inhibition in giving what we have received from somebody else.

Even there we may differentiate from one person to another. Like for example, we might have decided in the mind that this should be given to Mr. A, while we should give something else to Mrs. B. We also quantify while giving, like so much to Mr. A and so much to Mrs. B.

However, we should not do either of them.

Why we don’t deserve the best

Suppose we have some costly item like a silver vessel. We think that it may cost Rs.1000. But, when you weigh the vessel, we find the value to be Rs.5000. So we think this person does not deserve this much costly and therefore we will buy him something else. If these behaviors are present in us then we will not get the best and we do not deserve the best.

How to be deserving for the best

While giving, you must give with full heart. These are the tests given by the Divine. If someone asks money we must give it. But at that time we may not have so much money. At that time you may not be in a position to give him money. Then give him Reiki.

The beggar is not asking for the money, but the divine is…

The beggar may beg for some money from you. The auto driver may demand money from you. There is no difference between the two. If he asks Rs.150 for a trip then give him as the Universe wants the money to go from your hand. Instead, if you hold the amount, eventually you may have to spend 10 times the money in a different way.

Whenever it has to be given, give it. It is not the auto driver who is asking the money, it is not the beggar who is begging for the money. On the other hand, to balance between receiving and giving the Universe is asking from you.

If you develop this kind of attitude, giving will not become prohibitive to you. You will give easily and there will not be any blocks inside you.

Giving on a No-cost Basis

If we have to give at any cost then we can send Reiki by chanting “I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME LOVE THANKS DIVINE”.

However, do not allow others to exploit you

Giving does not mean that you should allow others to cheat you. If someone asks for donation, use your discretion. For paying the auto driver, when you travel occasionally by auto, then do not fight with him, but give him whatever he demands.

You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

I Deserve Respect

How to deserve more respect in your life?

Do the following:

1.       Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?

2.       Are you able to respect one and all?

Weigh the amount of respect you give to others

Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.

What is the meaning of respect? It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.

A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history

I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.

When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings. After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.

This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.

Roles do not define a person

We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.

If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect. We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.

To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do? We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.

How to give respect to others

1.       You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.

2.       ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.

Treat everybody humanly

If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.

 If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives. Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.