- Reflect on your life.
- Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.
Who is the controller of your life?
Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.
Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.
Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.
A tendency to blame others
We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.
In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.
When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.
“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history
One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.
Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).
One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.
The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.
When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.
Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life.
Anger breeds anger. We can understand that with the help of the story of Drona – the greatest teacher in archery and who lived in ancient India.
Drona and prince Droupada studied together in the same gurukulam (school). They learnt from the same guru. While Drona was poor, Droupada was the son of a king. But, they were very good friends.
After their gurukulam was over, Droupada went to rule his kingdom. Drona got married and had a son by name Asuvatama. They were so poor, that they didn’t have money to buy milk for their son. They would mix flour in water and give it to him.
Drona’s wife asked him to approach king Droupada. Drona approached the king, who insulted him saying, “You are a poor Brahmin. Those days are gone. I am the king of entire Panchala Desam now. Don’t expect any favours from me”.
Drona became so angry that he wanted to wreak vengeance. He searched for a job. He got a job to teach archery to Pandavas. After the training was over, it was time for offerings to guru Drona. He asked Arjuna to defeat Droupada, tie him to the wheel of his chariot and bring him to Drona.
Arjuna Defeats Droupada
Arjuna defeated the king and brought him to Drona. He told Droupada, “You insulted me. See what happened to you now”.
Drona took the southern part of Panchala.
Was the incident over after this?
Droupada challenged that he will beget a son, through whom he will kill Drona. He did a penance to beget a son by name Drishtithyumna.
So many years elapsed. Just before the great Gurushetra war began, Dharmar (the head of Pandavas) – the eldest brother of Arjuna, prostrated to Drona – who was in the side of Gouravas – enemies of Pandavas, and sought his blessings.
Drona informed him, “Had you not come, you would have lost the battle. I will tell you the secret of killing me. If I receive any sad news, I will give up the battle. Ask somebody to kill me then”. Dharmar passed this info to Krishna.
During the battle, elephant Asuvatama was killed. Krishna spread the news saying that Asuvatama was killed in the battle. When Drona heard this, he asked Dharmar – who always spoke the truth. Krishna blew the conch at that time, making sure Drona did not hear anything except “Asuvatama killed”. Immediately Drona, threw his weapons away, and sat on the ground. Drishtithyumna reached him and cut his head.
Asuvatama Takes Revenge
Asuvatama came to know about this, and decided to take revenge against Pandavas. Pandavas were sleeping in the night then. He killed all the children of Pandavas.
Arjuna made a vow that he would kill Asuvatama. Eventually Asuvatama was defeated in the battle and was brought in front of Krishna. Krishna said, “Don’t kill Asuvatama, but forgive him instead”. His crop of his hair was removed by Arjuna and he was pardoned as Krishna requested for.
Asuvatama got angry and charged Pandavas with Brhmastram (it’s like an atom bomb). Abhimanyu’s wife was pregnant then. Krishna saved the child with his Sudarsana Chakra. His name was Parikshit.
Krishna got angry with Asuvatama and cursed him by saying, “You have so much revenge in your mind that you should live in this world without a company, with no body to talk to, have no food or water, for next three thousand years”.
The revenge acts mentioned above are nothing but the acts of the mind. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of the mind to get angry and take revenge. The nature of Soul is to forgive, love and be in divine nature.
The Forgiveness Exercise
We might say there is some bad energy residing in the house. Hearing this, the house will get hurt. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Golden Gates Apartments. Please forgive me and release me”.
We would have commented about somebody behind their back. That’s also a form of anger. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Vivek. You forgive me and release me”.
“Release me” statement is important, as we are habitual in nature and we have to release that pattern. This forgiveness is nothing breaking the pattern – both our thinking patterns and thus our behaviour patterns.
Whenever you are angry about somebody, do this exercise. We have to chant like a mad person until relationship becomes good. In the last Janma we would have fought with them or others and so we repeat the same pattern. The persons are different and the events are different, but the emotions remain the same.
You can do this for good relationships too. The relationships will be strengthened in the process.
Dare 2 Do IT! (The forgiveness exercise)
The Besant Nagar Laughter Club followed this technique. They found it very helpful to them.