- Reflect on your life.
- Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.
Who is the controller of your life?
Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.
Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.
Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.
A tendency to blame others
We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.
In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.
When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.
“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history
One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.
Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).
One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.
The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.
When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.
Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life.
We have left one of our flats for rents. It has one mango tree and another one a coconut tree. In the past, the coconuts have fallen down and broke the windows, thought nobody got hurt. We are worried now that it may hurt the tenant.
We are wondering whether to cut the trees or to put a shed. If we put the shed, then there will be less visibility and air. However, we don’t want the cut the trees, which had been there with us for more than 35 years.
Trees are our life. It provides not just air, but keeps the ground in one place, providing stability of land. Because, so much trees are felled these days, we get earth quakes, Tsunamis and floods as nature is trying to correct the imbalances created by human beings.
In addition, never a coconut will fall directly over a human being, while the dried trunks might fall on us. Arrange a person to remove these trunks once in three months or so.
Trees are our blessings from god. Don’t fell it.
I want to cut a tree which is causing a lot of nuisance
I need some mantra or remedy to cut a tree which is causing a lot of nuisance. Our neighbors are not allowing us to cut it. It is on the road somewhere in between our gate and neighbor’s gate.
The problem is that the dried leaves, branches and many bird droppings fall in our compound. First of all no water in our area and it becomes a problem to clean all these things.
Chant “SWEET CHESTNUT, ROCK ROSE, WILD ROSE” for getting water.
By all means, clean your house of the birds’ excreta, by chanting “WILLOW, CHANGE DIVINE ORDER”.
Don’t fell the tree.
I like your blog. In fact, I wait for new articles but I feel something to say.
My aim is not to hurt anyone but when I read something like ‘We want share from in-laws to purchase property and please tell us some mantra’, I wanted to ask the questions.
After taking their share, you know, in these times, who does care for the parents? How could you know their intention?
Very interesting question!
I need not know the intention. The suggestion of any mantra or Bach flower remedies is not to get the share or what one wants. By chanting the mantra or words, one evolves mentally to have a higher perception.
Let us see the comment below, where they want a share of their in-laws property.
Currently we are facing plenty of problems in our rented house. I need my husband’s share from my in-laws to purchase one on our own. Please suggest remedies so that in-laws should give our share whole-heartedly themselves.
Chant ‘BALSAM, CHICORY’ as many times as possible
The reasons for giving those remedies were:
By chanting Balsam and Chicory, our hearts will open up by going beyond material possessions. As a by-product, one might get their due share too.
Why we need to heal the person instead of directly helping them to acquire their share?
If they don’t get healed then they will face a similar situation in the future or in their next life-time(s). By healing themselves, they will avoid such situations.
When Prahaladha asked Lord Narayanan to give him the blessings of chanting the name of Narayanan always, he was given that blessing along with the boon that his past seven generations as well as his future generations will attain Moksha (heaven). On top of that, he was given the boon to rule his kingdom for 10,000 years.
This is my intention – to heal the person. The rest of the material aspects will follow them automatically, without fail. However, that is not my Intention!!!
In this world there are four rules:
- You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
- You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.
In between these two rules, how to create what we want?
- To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
- When you like what you get, you get what you want.
A case history
My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.
However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”
My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.
Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!
There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD: http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/
Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.
- Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
- Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
- Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”
Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.
When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.
Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.
What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.
Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?
Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.
Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.
Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.
Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.
Take the remedies. You will understand.
A Marriage Not a Bother Anymore
A couple approached Naran S. Balakumar for their problems seems to be never ending. They were fighting like dogs and cats.
Balakumar narrated the following story from Panchatantra and asked them to tap while listening to the story:
There lived a dog and cat in a village. They fought like hell.
One day, it was raining heavily. They took a shelter in a Mandapam (a common place for discussing and resting for travellers).
The weather was too cold for the cat. There was one blanket available. Therefore, they have no choice but to use the same blanket. They covered themselves with the blanket.
They realized that they have to be together to solve any problem in life.
The couple did the tapping for few days and they could resolve the problems between them to a greater extent.
Benefits of Listening to Story of Jada Bharatha
- When a person is hurt or wounded emotionally, the story is a great soother
- This will bring some body out of love pangs, when they have failed in love.
- If somebody has a suicidal tendency, it will give them hope and enthusiasm.
This story was discussed in the Monthly Meet, April 2009. It is available in CD.
Next Post: Stories for Life Part 3
“Rama’s Pilgrimage to the Forest” and “Zen Tea”