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I love to take control of my life

Naran

  1. Reflect on your life.
  2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

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You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

I Deserve Respect

How to deserve more respect in your life?

Do the following:

1.       Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?

2.       Are you able to respect one and all?

Weigh the amount of respect you give to others

Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.

What is the meaning of respect? It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.

A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history

I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.

When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings. After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.

This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.

Roles do not define a person

We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.

If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect. We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.

To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do? We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.

How to give respect to others

1.       You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.

2.       ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.

Treat everybody humanly

If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.

 If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives. Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.

Managing a Rogue Husband

Deepa told me few months back, “My husband is a rogue. I want to divorce him. How can I compromise on this issue?”

  1. I gave her Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy and Holy.
  2. I asked her to do the acceptance Mudra and do the affirmations. Please check the link:
  3. I asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made him. This is how god wants him to behave. With him, there is something I need to learn.”  The very statement may appear simple. But, it works very well with couples.
  4. I also asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made me. Let me not interfere with Divine Will. I am happy to accept God’s Will and Divine Order from today”.

Acceptance will come when you understand there is a divine purpose behind everything and if we do not to interfere with the Divine Order. When you accept, automatically a new pattern of thinking will come and you will feel a new surge of energy.

Change in you will change the other person. We only need to have patience and acceptance. Then alone we can adjust to our circumstances. Life is nothing but adjustment and comprise. That’s the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut! (Take Walnut or chant the Switch Word ‘Adjust’)

Feedback from Deepa

“Till today I feel alright. I have become a new person. I could accept my husband as he is”. 

Naran S. Balakumar: Whenever she meets me, she used to say, “These affirmations are so divine that the moment I think about them, unusual peace dawns on me and all my anger vanishes.”

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