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You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

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Karma Vs Free Will

(From a telephone conversation)

Ranga

On one hand, you say our life is pre-destined. On the other hand, you also say we need to heal ourselves. I think, you are contradicting yourself.

Naran

As you are calling me, I am trying to fix my scissors, which is broken – one side of it is blunt, and so I am not able to use it. All of us know the fact that both the pieces of scissors are required for it to be useful, as one piece of scissors alone cannot do the job (of cutting).

Likewise, Karma and Free Will are two parts of healing that we have in life. One part alone cannot do the trick.

Healing transforms and changes a person.

Are we not using our free-will in our life?

No. We do every action unconsciously. We feel, think and behave over which we have no control as we feel and behave like a robot. Thus, we are operating from our lower free-will.

Healing uses higher free-will to bring internal change in a person, to effect a conscious behavior. Healing teaches you to choose the empowering emotions to change your attitude to your life. In addition, healing doesn’t alter anything outside of one. It is happening inside us.

What happens when we use our lower free-will?

When we use our lower free-will we are ruled by our emotions. For example, when there is a conflict, we use angry words. How can anger resolve anger (conflict)?

Thus, we add more to our karma, staying in troubled waters. How does somebody who is also in troubled water can save us? Only a person above the water – a person not influenced by his emotions, can help us. Such persons operate from their higher free-will, overcoming Karma and lessening it.

Both Karma and Healing help us learn our life lessons

Karma teaches us some lessons that make us whole and complete. If we don’t learn our lessons, our life is repeated in the same fashion – meaning the same karma in action.

So both, healing and karma do the same job in a different way. Both are required.

If somebody thinks that he can achieve anything in life by healing, he will fail for sure, as he is limited by his karma.

On the other hand, if somebody believes that he is destined to live in a particular way, then he will also fail, as we can heal our karma, by bringing an internal change.

What is an internal change? Internal change is nothing but evolving to ascend.

Thus, both Karma and Higher Free-will are required by us, to make our life whole and complete.

Let us have a Bond of Love and Not Anger!!!

Suresh

How to cure the shifted navel please suggest mantras switch words or any other techniques

Naran

Who said your navel has shifted? What is the symptom of this?

Suresh

Nobody has to say this if you don’t know anything about it then say so. Read Devendra Vora’s book and you will understand.

Naran
Dear Suresh,

I think you are new to this blog.

I am not treating any physical condition. By naming a condition, we maintain that problem. Whatever be the disease, they manifest as symptoms, which only are important to me.

The physical symptoms are true reflectors of our state of mind. The words you use to describe the symptoms are not mere words. They reflect your life pattern. They vindicate the predominant emotion or thought behind the disease.

The healing mantras or Mudras or switch words I suggest will heal and change the internal mind chemistry.

Once you internally change your outlook on the disease changes. This change in the mind brings in awareness and this awareness allows the inner power to work for the divine order which we term as health.

I am suggesting anything to bring in internal change in people.

You have asked me to read Devendra Vora’s book HEALTH IN YOUR HANDS. He has written books on Mudras, Reflexology. Devendra Vora has concentrated on the physical problems only.

My field is different. I am concerned more about changing the mind.

If anybody wants a genuine answer, he is welcome to this blog. I don’t want people to get angry at what I say.

By being in survival emotions, like anger, worry fear sadness, we cannot achieve anything.

How will one get love and affection by being always in a state of anger?

How will one get happiness by being always in a state of blaming?

How will one get peace by always being in a state of worry?

How will one get harmony by always being in a state of quarrel?

If you get angry with me, you are keeping a bond of anger between yourself and me. This may not be good either to you or me.

If at all there is a bond between me and you, let it be a bond of love; let it a be a bond of healing.

To Create a Better Future Look Back and Not Forward

When you do the healing, you heal your goals. For example, you may chant the Ambika mantra on behalf of your children, isn’t it?

Yes children are our FUTURE. If they do well then it means we have done well too.

Children are our future, which means we are the PRESENT. Then who is our past?

It is our parents. Parents are our PAST.

You heal your present to heal your future. In the same way, when you heal your PAST – your parents – you heal your PRESENT, and in turn your FUTURE – yours as well as your children.

Therefore, to create a better future, don’t look forward, but look back. It is a safer and a better solution than you have so far followed in your life.

I Deserve Respect

How to deserve more respect in your life?

Do the following:

1.       Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?

2.       Are you able to respect one and all?

Weigh the amount of respect you give to others

Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.

What is the meaning of respect? It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.

A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history

I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.

When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings. After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.

This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.

Roles do not define a person

We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.

If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect. We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.

To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do? We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.

How to give respect to others

1.       You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.

2.       ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.

Treat everybody humanly

If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.

 If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives. Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.

Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar

70 Days Programme for Finding a Good Life Partner

Affirmations for finding your life partner – read the instructions after the list of affirmations

1.      God, the loving omnipresent, the all-providing source of all relationships is individualized in me.

2.      I elevate my mind and heart to understand that Divine Presence I AM is the source of all my relationships.

3.      I am conscious of the Divine Presence as my life partner.  I am also conscious of the constant activity of this higher mind of infinite love.  My consciousness is filled with this Truth.

4.      Through my consciousness of my Divine-self – My source of love – I draw and fill up my thoughts and emotions with the omnipresent Divine love.

5.      I am aware, I understand and know that the all-providing Divine mind manifests as my life partner at the right time.  My trust in this truth is guiding me.

6.      My Divine mind works instantly constantly according to my needs and desires and with the Divine love operating through me, I remain always fulfilled… and every desire of mine is fulfilled.

7.      The Divine love that I am, is forever expressing its nature of Abundant happiness.  My getting the life partner is the responsibility of the Divine Presence within.  I am totally confident in letting go all my worries and letting God appear as the life partner in my life.

8.      My awareness of the spirit within me as the source of my love is making my life new, lifting me up from the past.  I experience this Divine love manifesting in all walks of my life.

9.      Since I am aware that God-self is the only relation, I am totally fulfilled.  I have found the secret of life and now I relax with the belief that Divine love is eternally operating in my life.  I Continue to be aware of this flow of Divine love which is continuously easily pouring from my Divine consciousness.

10.  My entire focus is on God within, the only relation in my life.  The god – within is active in all my affairs and I see the Divine principle in action on my behalf.

Instructions for doing this 70 days exercise

1.      In 1st cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

2.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

3.      In second cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

4.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

5.      In third cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

6.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

7.      In fourth cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

Please ensure that this exercise is done daily on regular basis and if you miss this even on one day you have to restart the programme from the beginning.

Mullah was sad one day…

A Story about Happiness and of course Sadness…!!!

His friend asked him, “Why are you sad?”

Mullah replied, “My uncle died a month ago. He has willed his property to me. I just thought about it and feel sad”.

“What a fool you are? He was eighty when he died. Moreover, all his property is yours now. Instead of being happy, why should you feel sad and weep?”

“No! No! The matter is different. Last week, another uncle of mine died and he also has written his property in my name”.

“So what. Now, you should be doubly happy. He is also as old as this uncle. There is nothing to mourn or loathe. Cheer up yourself”.

“Shall I tell you one more thing?”

“Please go ahead”.

“My grand father who was ninety years old died yesterday, after giving Rs. 2 lakhs to me”.

Greatly angered the friend replied, “I don’t understand the reason for your sadness then”.

Wiping his tears, Mullah said, “All my rich relatives had died. Now, there is nobody among my relatives old enough to die and give his property to me”.

This is the mentality of a negative (Bach Flower) Gentian person. His mind is not happy about what he gets. The Gentian mind feels sad about what he has not got.

My child is attached to my mother-in-law

In this world there are four rules:

  • You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
  • You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.

In between these two rules, how to create what we want?

  • To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
  • When you like what you get, you get what you want.

A case history

Radha

My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.

However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”

My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.

Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!

Naran

There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD:  http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/

Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.

  • Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
  • Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
  • Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”

Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.

Radha

When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.

Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.

Naran

What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.

Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?

Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.

Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.

Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.

Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.

Take the remedies. You will understand.

Moving in the Right Direction

The following discussion happened between Kumar and Naran a couple of years back on how to be successful and happy in both family front and work-front.

Kumar

Even though I am doing well in the job front like getting due recognition and awards for the work done, somehow I do not feel cheerful or happy about anything.

Neither the stuff at home seems to be going in the right direction. My wife is worried about our children because of their indifference and inadequate efforts towards their education and life in general.

I am not in my best of my abilities. Need to get back to Flowers, Reiki and Affirmations. Somehow, I would like to see myself getting back to my rhythm.

Naran S. Balakumar

It is the nature of mind to keep you either down or up. Understand and believe that you are not your mind. Rise up.

We all have taken birth as per the Divine Will and by Divine order.

Our Family, our Friends and our Environment always teach us. Every relationship is a blessing and we have to rise through these relationships. Everybody is there in your life, as per the divine order and we should try to love and heal them and make them come up in the ladder of life. Whether they come up or not it is their choice. Do not have expectations about anybody. Your children will definitely come up in their life – but in their own way.

Fill up your mind with enthusiasm and believe that everything happens as per the divine order. When you believe that whatever happens is not good for you, chant (daily) the Switch Words, ” TOGETHER FIND DIVINE ORDER BE NOW DONE”. This will put you back in life.

Using switch words is nothing but accepting and surrender. We do not know what will happen and we will be surprised at the turn of events after chanting.

Feedback from Kumar

I have started chanting from last night. It was a great feeling of relief and clarity. I read it to my wife and she is chanting too.

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