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I love to take control of my life

Naran

  1. Reflect on your life.
  2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

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Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar

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