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You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

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My child is attached to my mother-in-law

In this world there are four rules:

  • You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
  • You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.

In between these two rules, how to create what we want?

  • To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
  • When you like what you get, you get what you want.

A case history

Radha

My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.

However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”

My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.

Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!

Naran

There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD:  http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/

Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.

  • Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
  • Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
  • Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”

Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.

Radha

When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.

Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.

Naran

What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.

Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?

Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.

Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.

Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.

Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.

Take the remedies. You will understand.

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