A Story about Happiness and of course Sadness…!!!
His friend asked him, “Why are you sad?”
Mullah replied, “My uncle died a month ago. He has willed his property to me. I just thought about it and feel sad”.
“What a fool you are? He was eighty when he died. Moreover, all his property is yours now. Instead of being happy, why should you feel sad and weep?”
“No! No! The matter is different. Last week, another uncle of mine died and he also has written his property in my name”.
“So what. Now, you should be doubly happy. He is also as old as this uncle. There is nothing to mourn or loathe. Cheer up yourself”.
“Shall I tell you one more thing?”
“Please go ahead”.
“My grand father who was ninety years old died yesterday, after giving Rs. 2 lakhs to me”.
Greatly angered the friend replied, “I don’t understand the reason for your sadness then”.
Wiping his tears, Mullah said, “All my rich relatives had died. Now, there is nobody among my relatives old enough to die and give his property to me”.
This is the mentality of a negative (Bach Flower) Gentian person. His mind is not happy about what he gets. The Gentian mind feels sad about what he has not got.
In this world there are four rules:
- You don’t get what you desire or what you want.
- You get what you don’t desire or what you don’t want.
In between these two rules, how to create what we want?
- To get what you want, accept what you get. When you accept what you get, you like what you get.
- When you like what you get, you get what you want.
A case history
My in-laws came here last Sunday. From the day they came here, my three-year old daughter Hema wants all her work to be done by my mother in-law. That actually doesn’t bother me.
However, I like to sleep with Hema. It so happened today that she wants to sleep with my MIL, instead of sleeping with me. I felt really bad that Hema does not understand my feelings and is avoiding me. I felt, ‘Am I not giving enough love to her?”
My MIL feels really happy when Hema ignores me and says that she wants to be with my in-laws.
Now I’m hurt that Hema is totally ignoring me and doesn’t want to sleep with me!
There is no motive for any child to behave rudely. It is natural that all the children want to be with their grand parents. Go to my blog and read the story of Mangala on Bach Flower CD: http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/meditation-on-bach-flowers/
Allow the child to be as she is. The more and more you want your child to be with you, at the same time have a grudge against your mother in law the child will be drawn to her only.
- Chant the switch words, “Together Divine”
- Also, take the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Chicory. Give it to your MIL also. Put Walnut and Willow in the common water.
- Tap on yourself (all the points) continuously whenever you find time and affirm, “I accept totally what is happening to me. Love Thanks Divine.”
Suffering mentally is optional. Whenever we accept what is happening, we get a new meaning to our life and at the same time, whatever we wish will happen automatically.
When my MIL laughs and speaks that my kid is very much attached to her rather than me, then I get the grudge on her. She has once told our family members, in front of me, that she wants my kid to be attached to her rather than me. I was hurt with her words. You may think that I’m blaming her. This is the fact and this is how she spoke.
Anyhow let me try chanting the affirmations and let you know.
What we do normally when we are wounded or hurt. We may grudge, blame, curse dislike and become furious. All these emotions get outside our auric field, get clogged in the atmosphere and influence or affect us because we draw the same energy from the atmosphere.
Moreover constant and consistent undesirable emotions of this type may travel and join similar emotions in the world, paving way for violence, murder etc. Thus, we contribute indirectly to the violent world outside. Do you want to hold on to these emotions?
Another way is just to accept and ignore wherever possible, the comments made by your MIL.
Affirm to yourself, “Hurting others is her (MIL) nature. Loving and becoming lovable (whatever may be the provocation) is my nature”. If you practise this (very difficult), she will also change.
Changing yourself should be your goal. Take it as a challenge.
Do a lot of forgiving exercise. This will give you more power.
Take the remedies. You will understand.
Handling Problems with ‘I am sorry mantra’
Think about the problem or write the problem in a piece of paper and close it with both hands. Then affirm, “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Love, Thanks, Divine”. We will come out of the current state of mind. Then the solution will appear automatically and effortlessly as well.
Was about to be fired – a Case History
Sri is a software engineer, who was on the firing list. His manager warned him and told him to somehow get into a project. He chanted the ‘I am sorry’ mantra 20 times twice a day. Within a week they said he needs to go on a business trip to Europe and asked him to get ready for it.
He got worried that he had to go after August 28th as he had some personal function to attend on August 24th. Again he resorted to the ‘I am sorry’ mantra and he flew to Europe, exactly on August 28th.
He is now quite convinced that he can handle any problems with ‘I am sorry mantra’.
Every time we forgive someone,
We talk the language of God
We activate our own divine part.
It also helps others to see us in a new light.
If there is no forgiveness, then there is no understanding.
If there is no understanding, then there is no healing.
If there is no healing, then you will remain incomplete forever.
Deepa told me few months back, “My husband is a rogue. I want to divorce him. How can I compromise on this issue?”
- I gave her Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy and Holy.
- I asked her to do the acceptance Mudra and do the affirmations. Please check the link:
- I asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made him. This is how god wants him to behave. With him, there is something I need to learn.” The very statement may appear simple. But, it works very well with couples.
- I also asked her to affirm, “This is how god has made me. Let me not interfere with Divine Will. I am happy to accept God’s Will and Divine Order from today”.
Acceptance will come when you understand there is a divine purpose behind everything and if we do not to interfere with the Divine Order. When you accept, automatically a new pattern of thinking will come and you will feel a new surge of energy.
Change in you will change the other person. We only need to have patience and acceptance. Then alone we can adjust to our circumstances. Life is nothing but adjustment and comprise. That’s the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut! (Take Walnut or chant the Switch Word ‘Adjust’)
Feedback from Deepa
“Till today I feel alright. I have become a new person. I could accept my husband as he is”.
Naran S. Balakumar: Whenever she meets me, she used to say, “These affirmations are so divine that the moment I think about them, unusual peace dawns on me and all my anger vanishes.”
Valmiki chanted Mara, but ended up as a greatest writer in India of all times.
He started his life as a thief — looting and feeding his family. He felt that he was protecting them and doing his duty. He was about to steal from Narada too, who questioned him on his stealing ways.
Narada: Why do you steal?
Valmiki: It’s my duty to protect my family. I know only to steal.
Narada: By killing others you are acquiring lot of bad karma. Go and ask your family members whether they can take part any of your karma.
(Valmiki goes to his family)
Valmiki: Can any of you take part of my karma that I have incurred due to my stealing habits.
Valmiki’s Mother: I didn’t know anything about the bad things you were involved in. Therefore, in no way I can be part of it.
(The other members of his family replied in similar lines)
Valmiki (to Narada): Nobody is willing to take part of it. What’s the salvation for me then?
Narada: Chant Rama Nama, 24 hrs a day.
Valmiki chanted Mara as he heard Rama as Mara. He chanted for many years to come. A pit formed over him. People heard only the sound. When he came out of his meditation, he wrote the famous epic Ramayana.
(From Multi Dimensional Healing June 27 Workshop)
What is known as a karmic effect? Karma is not sin as many think. We have to come out of the thinking that we have done something wrong.
To learn something, mind has certain way of operating. One of the ways of operating is based on formula(s) a = b and cause is equal to effect. (B: C>E)That’s why karma effect has come in to our thinking process.
How to handle the present? Coming out of the emotions and be in the present is one way of nullifying our karmas.
When something happens all of us get any one of four types of emotions. First, the situation may kindle fear in us. If it’s persistent it becomes a worry. If problem is not solved then we feel sad. When nothing happens after so much of effort, then we get angry. Our mind knows only these four emotions.
If we come out of the emotions, the present is handled beautifully because our own habitual thoughts and emotions bring in the karmic effect.
Something happens and I react. If we react the same way we act like a robot. There is no difference in results. If I change the reaction – for example, if you become calm instead of getting angry, then your future also will change.
How to handle the present? God provides solutions thru nature. Use them to heal the present. Mudras, Flower Remedies help us come out of the ruling emotions.
Purpose of forgiving
By employing these techniques, we are healing ourselves. We have to categorically differentiate soul from mind. When we want to take revenge, it’s happening from the mind, not from the soul – which is only observing. The soul is beyond all these unwanted emotions.
Conscious mind will always make you think that there is a need for revenge and anger. Purpose of mantra is to correct the conscious mind. We do that help of the forgiving exercise. It’s an art which makes the other person think differently about you. It cuts our thinking pattern. We think we need to react to anger, while our true nature is to love and forgive.
Janma after Janma Same Story Same Endings
We are always living the same pattern for many Janma or lifetimes. That’s why we have met here again today. I would have taken class for you in my previous lifetime also.
How did we learn our emotional patterns – anger or sadness? We learnt from our parents. We live the life of our parents – who got their behaviour pattern from their parents. We are living out the same garbage.
During the last Janma, we had same or similar relationships and same behaviour and thinking patterns. How can one break these patterns? How to win over the mind and move spiritually? We will see that in the coming posts.
Anger breeds anger. We can understand that with the help of the story of Drona – the greatest teacher in archery and who lived in ancient India.
Drona and prince Droupada studied together in the same gurukulam (school). They learnt from the same guru. While Drona was poor, Droupada was the son of a king. But, they were very good friends.
After their gurukulam was over, Droupada went to rule his kingdom. Drona got married and had a son by name Asuvatama. They were so poor, that they didn’t have money to buy milk for their son. They would mix flour in water and give it to him.
Drona’s wife asked him to approach king Droupada. Drona approached the king, who insulted him saying, “You are a poor Brahmin. Those days are gone. I am the king of entire Panchala Desam now. Don’t expect any favours from me”.
Drona became so angry that he wanted to wreak vengeance. He searched for a job. He got a job to teach archery to Pandavas. After the training was over, it was time for offerings to guru Drona. He asked Arjuna to defeat Droupada, tie him to the wheel of his chariot and bring him to Drona.
Arjuna Defeats Droupada
Arjuna defeated the king and brought him to Drona. He told Droupada, “You insulted me. See what happened to you now”.
Drona took the southern part of Panchala.
Was the incident over after this?
Droupada challenged that he will beget a son, through whom he will kill Drona. He did a penance to beget a son by name Drishtithyumna.
So many years elapsed. Just before the great Gurushetra war began, Dharmar (the head of Pandavas) – the eldest brother of Arjuna, prostrated to Drona – who was in the side of Gouravas – enemies of Pandavas, and sought his blessings.
Drona informed him, “Had you not come, you would have lost the battle. I will tell you the secret of killing me. If I receive any sad news, I will give up the battle. Ask somebody to kill me then”. Dharmar passed this info to Krishna.
During the battle, elephant Asuvatama was killed. Krishna spread the news saying that Asuvatama was killed in the battle. When Drona heard this, he asked Dharmar – who always spoke the truth. Krishna blew the conch at that time, making sure Drona did not hear anything except “Asuvatama killed”. Immediately Drona, threw his weapons away, and sat on the ground. Drishtithyumna reached him and cut his head.
Asuvatama Takes Revenge
Asuvatama came to know about this, and decided to take revenge against Pandavas. Pandavas were sleeping in the night then. He killed all the children of Pandavas.
Arjuna made a vow that he would kill Asuvatama. Eventually Asuvatama was defeated in the battle and was brought in front of Krishna. Krishna said, “Don’t kill Asuvatama, but forgive him instead”. His crop of his hair was removed by Arjuna and he was pardoned as Krishna requested for.
Asuvatama got angry and charged Pandavas with Brhmastram (it’s like an atom bomb). Abhimanyu’s wife was pregnant then. Krishna saved the child with his Sudarsana Chakra. His name was Parikshit.
Krishna got angry with Asuvatama and cursed him by saying, “You have so much revenge in your mind that you should live in this world without a company, with no body to talk to, have no food or water, for next three thousand years”.
The revenge acts mentioned above are nothing but the acts of the mind. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of the mind to get angry and take revenge. The nature of Soul is to forgive, love and be in divine nature.
The Forgiveness Exercise
We might say there is some bad energy residing in the house. Hearing this, the house will get hurt. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Golden Gates Apartments. Please forgive me and release me”.
We would have commented about somebody behind their back. That’s also a form of anger. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Vivek. You forgive me and release me”.
“Release me” statement is important, as we are habitual in nature and we have to release that pattern. This forgiveness is nothing breaking the pattern – both our thinking patterns and thus our behaviour patterns.
Whenever you are angry about somebody, do this exercise. We have to chant like a mad person until relationship becomes good. In the last Janma we would have fought with them or others and so we repeat the same pattern. The persons are different and the events are different, but the emotions remain the same.
You can do this for good relationships too. The relationships will be strengthened in the process.
Dare 2 Do IT! (The forgiveness exercise)
The Besant Nagar Laughter Club followed this technique. They found it very helpful to them.