Inappropriate Love

Grace

Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.

Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!

I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.

Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for this man.

Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.

Grace

Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!

Naran

Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).

Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.

You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.

Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.

Grace

I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.

I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.

Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace

Naran

A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.

I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.

Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).

When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.

Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.

Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar