- Reflect on your life.
- Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.
Who is the controller of your life?
Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.
Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.
Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.
A tendency to blame others
We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.
In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.
When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.
“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history
One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.
Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).
One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.
The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.
When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.
Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life.
“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda
Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?
In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown, one either feels angry or feels depressed or worried.
What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?
If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself? Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.
If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.
How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?
- Ask a simple question to yourself. What do I want?
- What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
- What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
- On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?
If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.
But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.
In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.
If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.
The disadvantages of being in a state of victim
The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.
A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim. Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?
- Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
- Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.
Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.
This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.
We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.
We have left one of our flats for rents. It has one mango tree and another one a coconut tree. In the past, the coconuts have fallen down and broke the windows, thought nobody got hurt. We are worried now that it may hurt the tenant.
We are wondering whether to cut the trees or to put a shed. If we put the shed, then there will be less visibility and air. However, we don’t want the cut the trees, which had been there with us for more than 35 years.
Trees are our life. It provides not just air, but keeps the ground in one place, providing stability of land. Because, so much trees are felled these days, we get earth quakes, Tsunamis and floods as nature is trying to correct the imbalances created by human beings.
In addition, never a coconut will fall directly over a human being, while the dried trunks might fall on us. Arrange a person to remove these trunks once in three months or so.
Trees are our blessings from god. Don’t fell it.
I want to cut a tree which is causing a lot of nuisance
I need some mantra or remedy to cut a tree which is causing a lot of nuisance. Our neighbors are not allowing us to cut it. It is on the road somewhere in between our gate and neighbor’s gate.
The problem is that the dried leaves, branches and many bird droppings fall in our compound. First of all no water in our area and it becomes a problem to clean all these things.
Chant “SWEET CHESTNUT, ROCK ROSE, WILD ROSE” for getting water.
By all means, clean your house of the birds’ excreta, by chanting “WILLOW, CHANGE DIVINE ORDER”.
Don’t fell the tree.
I like your blog. In fact, I wait for new articles but I feel something to say.
My aim is not to hurt anyone but when I read something like ‘We want share from in-laws to purchase property and please tell us some mantra’, I wanted to ask the questions.
After taking their share, you know, in these times, who does care for the parents? How could you know their intention?
Very interesting question!
I need not know the intention. The suggestion of any mantra or Bach flower remedies is not to get the share or what one wants. By chanting the mantra or words, one evolves mentally to have a higher perception.
Let us see the comment below, where they want a share of their in-laws property.
Currently we are facing plenty of problems in our rented house. I need my husband’s share from my in-laws to purchase one on our own. Please suggest remedies so that in-laws should give our share whole-heartedly themselves.
Chant ‘BALSAM, CHICORY’ as many times as possible
The reasons for giving those remedies were:
By chanting Balsam and Chicory, our hearts will open up by going beyond material possessions. As a by-product, one might get their due share too.
Why we need to heal the person instead of directly helping them to acquire their share?
If they don’t get healed then they will face a similar situation in the future or in their next life-time(s). By healing themselves, they will avoid such situations.
When Prahaladha asked Lord Narayanan to give him the blessings of chanting the name of Narayanan always, he was given that blessing along with the boon that his past seven generations as well as his future generations will attain Moksha (heaven). On top of that, he was given the boon to rule his kingdom for 10,000 years.