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I love to take control of my life

Naran

  1. Reflect on your life.
  2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

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Why can’t I be happy?

Client

I had been trying out all the mantras and switch words you had suggested to me. I had been religiously taking the remedies you had recommended. Yet I am not seeing the results I want.

I still don’t have a good job.  My marriage is in shambles. Neither my parents nor my in-laws are happy about me.

Luckily, I am yet to have kids. Otherwise, I am afraid they will be cursing me too.

My simple question to you is, “Why can’t I be happy and lead a satisfactory life-like others?”

Sorry! I am feeling very skeptical here and feeling much disappointed too.

Naran

A Few questions to you first

What is “Thanks”?

What is “Acceptance”?

Why should we accept everything totally – whether what is happening in our life is to our liking or not?

When I am lucky…

I want.

I pray.

I get what I want.

I thank the Divine.

But I forget to pray for others who have not got because of my getting.

When I am not lucky…

I want.

I pray.

But, I am denied.

I feel sad or angry instead of thanking for not getting what I want.

In other words, I am resenting the gift to someone.

This sadness of anger over my not getting is truly resenting others and denying the Divine Order by violating the quantum law:  “All is one. One is all”.

Why can’t I be unhappy, when I fail, you may ask?

When I resent or feel sad, I cannot receive when my turn comes (yes! it comes to you one day for sure).

Therefore, when I am denied, I accept and thank god for giving to someone.

I thank God, because my prayers got someone what he wanted.

Denial to me is a gift to someone who needs more than me.

So I Thank the Divine

Let me feel happy about it.

Let me accept it.

With OPEN HEART and QUIET MIND, I ACCEPT and THANK the DIVINE for anything and everything in my life.

I thank when I receive.

I thank when I am denied, while others receive.

So I Thank the Divine in Advance, for one day, my wants will be fulfilled, my prayers will be answered, and I will receive the gifts I desire as I have understood today that my acceptance and attitude of gratitude at any stage will get me everything, when my turn comes.

Inappropriate Love

Grace

Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.

Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!

I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.

Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for this man.

Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.

Grace

Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!

Naran

Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).

Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.

You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.

Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.

Grace

I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.

I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.

Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace

Naran

A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.

I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.

Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).

When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.

Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.

Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar

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