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You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

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Karma Vs Free Will

(From a telephone conversation)

Ranga

On one hand, you say our life is pre-destined. On the other hand, you also say we need to heal ourselves. I think, you are contradicting yourself.

Naran

As you are calling me, I am trying to fix my scissors, which is broken – one side of it is blunt, and so I am not able to use it. All of us know the fact that both the pieces of scissors are required for it to be useful, as one piece of scissors alone cannot do the job (of cutting).

Likewise, Karma and Free Will are two parts of healing that we have in life. One part alone cannot do the trick.

Healing transforms and changes a person.

Are we not using our free-will in our life?

No. We do every action unconsciously. We feel, think and behave over which we have no control as we feel and behave like a robot. Thus, we are operating from our lower free-will.

Healing uses higher free-will to bring internal change in a person, to effect a conscious behavior. Healing teaches you to choose the empowering emotions to change your attitude to your life. In addition, healing doesn’t alter anything outside of one. It is happening inside us.

What happens when we use our lower free-will?

When we use our lower free-will we are ruled by our emotions. For example, when there is a conflict, we use angry words. How can anger resolve anger (conflict)?

Thus, we add more to our karma, staying in troubled waters. How does somebody who is also in troubled water can save us? Only a person above the water – a person not influenced by his emotions, can help us. Such persons operate from their higher free-will, overcoming Karma and lessening it.

Both Karma and Healing help us learn our life lessons

Karma teaches us some lessons that make us whole and complete. If we don’t learn our lessons, our life is repeated in the same fashion – meaning the same karma in action.

So both, healing and karma do the same job in a different way. Both are required.

If somebody thinks that he can achieve anything in life by healing, he will fail for sure, as he is limited by his karma.

On the other hand, if somebody believes that he is destined to live in a particular way, then he will also fail, as we can heal our karma, by bringing an internal change.

What is an internal change? Internal change is nothing but evolving to ascend.

Thus, both Karma and Higher Free-will are required by us, to make our life whole and complete.

Let us have a Bond of Love and Not Anger!!!

Suresh

How to cure the shifted navel please suggest mantras switch words or any other techniques

Naran

Who said your navel has shifted? What is the symptom of this?

Suresh

Nobody has to say this if you don’t know anything about it then say so. Read Devendra Vora’s book and you will understand.

Naran
Dear Suresh,

I think you are new to this blog.

I am not treating any physical condition. By naming a condition, we maintain that problem. Whatever be the disease, they manifest as symptoms, which only are important to me.

The physical symptoms are true reflectors of our state of mind. The words you use to describe the symptoms are not mere words. They reflect your life pattern. They vindicate the predominant emotion or thought behind the disease.

The healing mantras or Mudras or switch words I suggest will heal and change the internal mind chemistry.

Once you internally change your outlook on the disease changes. This change in the mind brings in awareness and this awareness allows the inner power to work for the divine order which we term as health.

I am suggesting anything to bring in internal change in people.

You have asked me to read Devendra Vora’s book HEALTH IN YOUR HANDS. He has written books on Mudras, Reflexology. Devendra Vora has concentrated on the physical problems only.

My field is different. I am concerned more about changing the mind.

If anybody wants a genuine answer, he is welcome to this blog. I don’t want people to get angry at what I say.

By being in survival emotions, like anger, worry fear sadness, we cannot achieve anything.

How will one get love and affection by being always in a state of anger?

How will one get happiness by being always in a state of blaming?

How will one get peace by always being in a state of worry?

How will one get harmony by always being in a state of quarrel?

If you get angry with me, you are keeping a bond of anger between yourself and me. This may not be good either to you or me.

If at all there is a bond between me and you, let it be a bond of love; let it a be a bond of healing.

To Create a Better Future Look Back and Not Forward

When you do the healing, you heal your goals. For example, you may chant the Ambika mantra on behalf of your children, isn’t it?

Yes children are our FUTURE. If they do well then it means we have done well too.

Children are our future, which means we are the PRESENT. Then who is our past?

It is our parents. Parents are our PAST.

You heal your present to heal your future. In the same way, when you heal your PAST – your parents – you heal your PRESENT, and in turn your FUTURE – yours as well as your children.

Therefore, to create a better future, don’t look forward, but look back. It is a safer and a better solution than you have so far followed in your life.

I Deserve Respect

How to deserve more respect in your life?

Do the following:

1.       Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?

2.       Are you able to respect one and all?

Weigh the amount of respect you give to others

Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.

What is the meaning of respect? It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.

A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history

I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.

When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings. After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.

This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.

Roles do not define a person

We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.

If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect. We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.

To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do? We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.

How to give respect to others

1.       You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.

2.       ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.

Treat everybody humanly

If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.

 If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives. Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.

Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar

Detoxify Your Body

What is detoxification?

First let us find out how toxins are formed inside. We are collecting toxins from the environment. What toxins are collected from environment? We collect toxins from air environment, and pollution.

We are so many people sitting here and each of us is collecting something at any point of time. We are all collecting unwanted things. However, we are not able to collect what we want!!! These are all toxins. Whenever 40 – 50 people meet, you will be inhaling toxins.

All the medicines we take are toxins. The food we take is a toxin because even after digestion so many toxins are produced. The body is a chemical factory and whatever we take, has to be converted to glucose. Protein will be used for body building and glucose is the energy. What is blood circulation? The blood circulates in each and every organ and each and every cell takes in oxygen and glucose.

The case with diabetics

Diabetes affected persons will be using vigorously the resources of Pancreas. But liver is very important too. Allopathy never takes care of the liver. They totally ignore it. Liver increases the glucose when carbohydrates are increased in the system. If glucose is in excess, it converts it into glycogen. This conversion cycle of glucose into glycogen has to be done by Pancreas.

People who have sugar problem cannot get over their problem if they are not addressing their liver. Therefore, liver is important enough to be taken care of.

After digestion what happens?

Why is the liver so important? 75% of the blood circulation inside the liver is venous blood, and carbon dioxide blood, which has only toxins. After digestion all the toxins and waste materials will come to liver only. The liver bifurcate the toxins and directs them to kidneys, skin, lungs, and large intestine.

The liver does not function well after taking chemical food, hotel food, and junk food. It starts sagging. Its capacity is reduced.

What happens if the capacity of liver is reduced?

The toxins are bad company and we should not mingle with them. None of us will allow our children to be in the bad company, right? We also will not allow a person, who is not good, to come near us.

What will these toxins do? It circulates in the blood and mixes with the cells and changes the mind of the cell. What is that? It tells the cells, “If you receive any command, do not listen to them”. Toxins are a bad company and it acts like that only.

How tumor is formed?

What process goes on in the body? Every second old cells die and it is replaced by new cells. To enable the process to continue, when the time comes the old cells will receive the command, “You have to die”. The moment certain cells die, four cells come, to dispose of the dead cells. Like when we die four people carry our dead body. The same thing happens inside us. The moment the cell dies then four cells travel to that place, carry the dead cell, and it is excreted through the body.

The old cells, at the time of death, are supposed to receive the command “Die” and they have to die. When there are too much of toxins in the blood, some cells ignore the command or they will act as if they have not received the command. Those old cells, which are ignoring the command, will not die. If those old cells do not die, they will multiply and form into a tumor.

How to let the old cells die?

Now what is the reason for the tumor? The old cells do not receive the command, to perform this process and they will have to be helped. If this process has to go on continuously, (switch word) TOGETHER is the mantra. And we will not know inside our body, whether the old cells have died or not. So how to take these cells which do not die and what is the switch word for this?

We have to give the command “Die” to the old undead cells, if there is any. These are the ones which form into benign tumor or cancer.

For cancer, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE CANCEL OLD Undead Cells FIND New Cells”. This has to be chanted daily many number times. By this you are giving the command to your own body.

CANCEL means to delete, to destroy, and to put an end. CANCEL is a very important word for destroying the tumor and cancer cells.

70 Days Programme for Finding a Good Life Partner

Affirmations for finding your life partner – read the instructions after the list of affirmations

1.      God, the loving omnipresent, the all-providing source of all relationships is individualized in me.

2.      I elevate my mind and heart to understand that Divine Presence I AM is the source of all my relationships.

3.      I am conscious of the Divine Presence as my life partner.  I am also conscious of the constant activity of this higher mind of infinite love.  My consciousness is filled with this Truth.

4.      Through my consciousness of my Divine-self – My source of love – I draw and fill up my thoughts and emotions with the omnipresent Divine love.

5.      I am aware, I understand and know that the all-providing Divine mind manifests as my life partner at the right time.  My trust in this truth is guiding me.

6.      My Divine mind works instantly constantly according to my needs and desires and with the Divine love operating through me, I remain always fulfilled… and every desire of mine is fulfilled.

7.      The Divine love that I am, is forever expressing its nature of Abundant happiness.  My getting the life partner is the responsibility of the Divine Presence within.  I am totally confident in letting go all my worries and letting God appear as the life partner in my life.

8.      My awareness of the spirit within me as the source of my love is making my life new, lifting me up from the past.  I experience this Divine love manifesting in all walks of my life.

9.      Since I am aware that God-self is the only relation, I am totally fulfilled.  I have found the secret of life and now I relax with the belief that Divine love is eternally operating in my life.  I Continue to be aware of this flow of Divine love which is continuously easily pouring from my Divine consciousness.

10.  My entire focus is on God within, the only relation in my life.  The god – within is active in all my affairs and I see the Divine principle in action on my behalf.

Instructions for doing this 70 days exercise

1.      In 1st cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

2.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

3.      In second cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

4.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

5.      In third cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

6.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

7.      In fourth cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

Please ensure that this exercise is done daily on regular basis and if you miss this even on one day you have to restart the programme from the beginning.

I am loved (by all)

Naran

Suja (name changed) asked me at the end of the workshop “I Love Myself”, whether she can pay a visit to her paternal uncle’s place. She was invited for a housing ceremony. She had some apprehensions because, her visits to her uncle’s always created tension and disharmony.

I told her it’s alright to go. If she faces any problems she can always leave the function midway.

She finished the workshop and did all the mental exercises I asked the participants to do. At the end of the workshop, I told the participants to complete all the exercises that they didn’t do in the class, within a week from the day of the workshop.

Somehow, Suja felt that she should at least do one exercise on the same day of the workshop and the day before she attends the function on Sunday. She picked the first one in the workbook, under the affirmation” I AM LOVED”. Instead of doing the exercises, she simply chanted the affirmation for more than an hour.

On Sunday, she visited her uncle’s house along with her husband. During the function one of her relatives lost six thousand rupees. Somebody stole it from him. The servant who works for her uncle was suspected of taking the money, though it couldn’t be proved.

During this commotion, Suja silently chanted the Bach Flower Remedies, “ROCK WATER and CHESTNUTBUD” – a good combination when you lose something.  Within an hour, her uncle was able to get a confession from his servant, as well as the money that she stole.

Her uncle asked Suja what she was doing during the commotion as she was seemed to be in a trance the whole time. She replied that she was chanting the name of flower remedies. He was happy to hear this and his family, friends and relatives too. They openly complimented her for her selfless efforts. On hearing it, she got elated and felt loved.

I came to know the whole story through her husband who thought I am the reason for the appreciation she received from her relatives, who were always ill-treating her.

Explanation

She picked the one affirmation from the workbook, which was the need for the hour. And what made her to pick that? It was picked by that part of her mind that was activated because she did all the exercises sincerely. She is one of my students who religiously do whatever I tell them to do. Interestingly even though she was listening to the “I Love Myself” CD for more than a month, only after doing the exercises she was able to tap the resource that helped her to receive the love that she expecting from her uncle.

Lessons Learned

For some issues, you will find solution easily. Even for issues that are pending to be resolved for several years can be resolved easily by following a simple technique. However, some other issue mayn’t die down easily. You need to do a lot of work to resolve it. For the same reason, I want my fellow travelers in the healing path not to give up on their chronic problems and instead dig deeper to solve them.

Also note that there is no single technique that is applicable to everyone in the world. What works for one – say a Mudra technique to reduce heart palpitation, may not work for others. They may need Bach Flower Remedies as well Gem remedies. In addition, what works today may not work tomorrow.

Therefore, be open to various healing methods. Have Trust in the one divine power to find out what will work for you today. Surely Divine is waiting out there to help you out.

Good Luck

How and why we need to forgive others

For more detailed explanation on Why we need to forgive others and How to forgive others, please refer the book: “Forgiveness How and Why”, written by Naran S. Balakumar.

Jay

I have a problem letting go or forgiving people. Is there any switch word for it?

Naran

If you don’t do the forgiving exercise, you will undergo same emotions, even though situations may be different.

If you do not want to meet or interact with same people in future, Forgiving is the only way.

There is no shortcut for letting go the resentment and anger.

Do not act from ego; have higher perception and think that every event in our life is happening as per our desire. Before taking the birth, I want this life with these people to mend my life. But unfortunately after taking birth, we forget our commitment.  When the situation is created as per our desire, instead of learning lessons and moving forward, we get stuck and we refuse to forget or forgive.

What is the one that prevents you from forgiving? Release that and do it.

I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me. This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.

Jay

Do I just have to fill the name or action that upsets me?

Naran

 “I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me”.

Take a person with whom you are angry. Insert his or her name in the space given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.

Forgiving Exercise

Affirm, “I (your name) Robert forgive you Ashok (replace with name of the person to be forgiven). You please forgive me and release me”.

This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.

Write a list of persons with whom you are angry. Take one person out of that list. Insert his or her name in the affirmation given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.

Questions regarding Forgiveness Exercise

Nayana

I have two queries related to Forgiving exercise.

I have too many people to forgive in my life, so please guide me how to forgive them with once for all.

I see my husband is having so much resentment in his life with so many people but he doesn’t try to do any of the exercise to forgive and forget. So is there anything I can do on behalf of him, as it’s affecting my life all the time.

Naran

  1. Take a list of all of them. Do the forgiving for all. Take one at a time. Chant 200 times for each.
  2. You cannot do anything for somebody’s sake. What is your predominant thought or emotion when you deal with him? Release that one by one. If one goes, another will come. Release that also.
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