Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.
Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!
I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.
Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.
Do the forgiving exercise for this man.
Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.
Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!
Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).
Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.
You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.
Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.
I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.
I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.
Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace
A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.
I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.
Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).
When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.
Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.
For more detailed explanation on Why we need to forgive others and How to forgive others, please refer the book: “Forgiveness How and Why”, written by Naran S. Balakumar.
I have a problem letting go or forgiving people. Is there any switch word for it?
If you don’t do the forgiving exercise, you will undergo same emotions, even though situations may be different.
If you do not want to meet or interact with same people in future, Forgiving is the only way.
There is no shortcut for letting go the resentment and anger.
Do not act from ego; have higher perception and think that every event in our life is happening as per our desire. Before taking the birth, I want this life with these people to mend my life. But unfortunately after taking birth, we forget our commitment. When the situation is created as per our desire, instead of learning lessons and moving forward, we get stuck and we refuse to forget or forgive.
What is the one that prevents you from forgiving? Release that and do it.
I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me. This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.
Do I just have to fill the name or action that upsets me?
“I Jay forgive you —–(name of the person). You please forgive me and release me”.
Take a person with whom you are angry. Insert his or her name in the space given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.
Affirm, “I (your name) Robert forgive you Ashok (replace with name of the person to be forgiven). You please forgive me and release me”.
This can be done mechanically without the involvement of the heart.
Write a list of persons with whom you are angry. Take one person out of that list. Insert his or her name in the affirmation given above. Chant the same for 200 times a day.
Questions regarding Forgiveness Exercise
I have two queries related to Forgiving exercise.
I have too many people to forgive in my life, so please guide me how to forgive them with once for all.
I see my husband is having so much resentment in his life with so many people but he doesn’t try to do any of the exercise to forgive and forget. So is there anything I can do on behalf of him, as it’s affecting my life all the time.
- Take a list of all of them. Do the forgiving for all. Take one at a time. Chant 200 times for each.
- You cannot do anything for somebody’s sake. What is your predominant thought or emotion when you deal with him? Release that one by one. If one goes, another will come. Release that also.
One of my students, aged 59 years, is suffering from severe knee stiffness on her right knee. Sometimes it shifts to left knee too.
She has already learnt Reiki in Bombay. She has also learnt pranic healing.
Which mantra, or which Bach Flower Remedy can be given to her. She is already taking allopathic medicine. Can you please suggest?
There is an Ayurvedic product Danvantri Kulambu, sold in Ayurvedic shops. Ask her to apply it, daily on the knees and wash it with hot water after half an hour.
In addition, she needs to do the following:
1. Knees: (ask her to question within herself) in which areas of life she is inflexible?
Love is more important than any principles.
Let her chant, “Let divine love manifest within and around me”.
2. Let her take Bach flower remedies “ROCK WATER WALNUT HORNBEAM”.
3. Ask her to extend her thanks to her parents.
If she does not have good relationship with her parents, ask her to do the forgiving exercise.
Rock Water: to reduce stubbornness and be flexible. Instead of living by principles alone, lead the life with Love
Walnut: move on with life, instead of getting stuck up with something or some emotion
Knees: will get affected if we have issues with parents. Issue with Mother will affect left knee and issue with father will affect right knee.
Refer this link to know more on how body is affected by our emotions and thoughts: http://healbymindbodymessages.wordpress.com/
Forgiveness Exercise: if you (Raju) have to forgive your mother then affirm, “I Raju forgive you my mother. Please forgive me and release me”. Please note that this will release the anger about the concern person and not the relationship itself.
Anger breeds anger. We can understand that with the help of the story of Drona – the greatest teacher in archery and who lived in ancient India.
Drona and prince Droupada studied together in the same gurukulam (school). They learnt from the same guru. While Drona was poor, Droupada was the son of a king. But, they were very good friends.
After their gurukulam was over, Droupada went to rule his kingdom. Drona got married and had a son by name Asuvatama. They were so poor, that they didn’t have money to buy milk for their son. They would mix flour in water and give it to him.
Drona’s wife asked him to approach king Droupada. Drona approached the king, who insulted him saying, “You are a poor Brahmin. Those days are gone. I am the king of entire Panchala Desam now. Don’t expect any favours from me”.
Drona became so angry that he wanted to wreak vengeance. He searched for a job. He got a job to teach archery to Pandavas. After the training was over, it was time for offerings to guru Drona. He asked Arjuna to defeat Droupada, tie him to the wheel of his chariot and bring him to Drona.
Arjuna Defeats Droupada
Arjuna defeated the king and brought him to Drona. He told Droupada, “You insulted me. See what happened to you now”.
Drona took the southern part of Panchala.
Was the incident over after this?
Droupada challenged that he will beget a son, through whom he will kill Drona. He did a penance to beget a son by name Drishtithyumna.
So many years elapsed. Just before the great Gurushetra war began, Dharmar (the head of Pandavas) – the eldest brother of Arjuna, prostrated to Drona – who was in the side of Gouravas – enemies of Pandavas, and sought his blessings.
Drona informed him, “Had you not come, you would have lost the battle. I will tell you the secret of killing me. If I receive any sad news, I will give up the battle. Ask somebody to kill me then”. Dharmar passed this info to Krishna.
During the battle, elephant Asuvatama was killed. Krishna spread the news saying that Asuvatama was killed in the battle. When Drona heard this, he asked Dharmar – who always spoke the truth. Krishna blew the conch at that time, making sure Drona did not hear anything except “Asuvatama killed”. Immediately Drona, threw his weapons away, and sat on the ground. Drishtithyumna reached him and cut his head.
Asuvatama Takes Revenge
Asuvatama came to know about this, and decided to take revenge against Pandavas. Pandavas were sleeping in the night then. He killed all the children of Pandavas.
Arjuna made a vow that he would kill Asuvatama. Eventually Asuvatama was defeated in the battle and was brought in front of Krishna. Krishna said, “Don’t kill Asuvatama, but forgive him instead”. His crop of his hair was removed by Arjuna and he was pardoned as Krishna requested for.
Asuvatama got angry and charged Pandavas with Brhmastram (it’s like an atom bomb). Abhimanyu’s wife was pregnant then. Krishna saved the child with his Sudarsana Chakra. His name was Parikshit.
Krishna got angry with Asuvatama and cursed him by saying, “You have so much revenge in your mind that you should live in this world without a company, with no body to talk to, have no food or water, for next three thousand years”.
The revenge acts mentioned above are nothing but the acts of the mind. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of the mind to get angry and take revenge. The nature of Soul is to forgive, love and be in divine nature.
The Forgiveness Exercise
We might say there is some bad energy residing in the house. Hearing this, the house will get hurt. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Golden Gates Apartments. Please forgive me and release me”.
We would have commented about somebody behind their back. That’s also a form of anger. So affirm, “I Tom forgive you Vivek. You forgive me and release me”.
“Release me” statement is important, as we are habitual in nature and we have to release that pattern. This forgiveness is nothing breaking the pattern – both our thinking patterns and thus our behaviour patterns.
Whenever you are angry about somebody, do this exercise. We have to chant like a mad person until relationship becomes good. In the last Janma we would have fought with them or others and so we repeat the same pattern. The persons are different and the events are different, but the emotions remain the same.
You can do this for good relationships too. The relationships will be strengthened in the process.
Dare 2 Do IT! (The forgiveness exercise)
The Besant Nagar Laughter Club followed this technique. They found it very helpful to them.