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Goal is to find harmony and happiness

“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda

Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?

In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown,  one either feels angry or feels  depressed  or worried.

What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?

If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself?  Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.

If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.

How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?

  1. Ask a simple question to yourself.  What do I want?
  2. What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
  3. What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
  4. On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?

If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.

But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.

In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.

If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.

The disadvantages of being in a state of victim

The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.

A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim.  Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?

  • Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
  • Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.

Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.

This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.

We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.

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Fear manifests what we do not want

Madhu

There is always a saying that marriages are made in heaven. Is that true?

And if so then why there is negativity like divorce, extramarital, and even more than that?

I am very much afraid of this issue as it’s a lifelong decision and relationship.

Is there any switch word which all can chant to have a successful, happy and respected marital life either love or arranged.

Any switch words that can keep harmony not only in couple but also between two families because sometimes we see that due to family distances, fights arise.

And also anything after which there should not be any regression about marriage decision?

I know you are the only one who can clear my questions and hope so many people wants know it.

Naran

Fear is hallucination.

Fearing about something is happening in the mind only.

The mind is unable to perceive the future and therefore indulges in thoughts that produce fear.

Instead of becoming inquisitive, the mind pushes you in fear or in darkness.

What is this fear? Fear manifests the very same event which we do not want.

Understand that every emotion has got individual consciousness.

Fear is born because future is unknown. Anything unknown is darkness. Darkness – fear – will be no more, when there is light.

When the fear appears, think that it needs light. Say, “Fear SET FREE, OPEN, ALIGN yourself with the LIGHT and RELAX me.”

Read again and again all the answers and blog postings and meditate on each and every answer.

You will know everything that you need to know.

Too much of thoughts – unwanted thoughts – obsess you and you have forgotten to listen. Listening happens when we become silent and Truth will reveal itself when we introspect.

It is not my reply but your understanding is more important.

Inappropriate Love

Grace

Some time ago I explained to you about some sexual harassment that I was suffering, from near my home. You asked me to forgive them and it worked. They are no longer around blocking my path.

Unfortunately now – post clearing resistance to love – one of them has decided he is in love with me. Naran please help me I do not want this!

I feel like this may have been why I originally created the tendency not to receive love from people to avoid unwanted advances. This man is too old for me and not at all what I had in mind.

Please help me! I do not want to receive love from inappropriate places. I want to continue to be open to receiving love that does not make me feel bad.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for this man.

Say “I thank you old man for keeping away from me” three times daily.

Grace

Okay. I will do. What is the root cause of this? I feel I am always in this type of situation. It makes me become a separatist. I’m tired of it!

Naran

Grace, let us NOT think about why this is happening (and allow our ego to play games).

Heal as and when the situation arises. Release all your anger and resentment.

You can take a paper and write down your anger stories. Go on writing without reading what you wrote. Burn the paper or dip the paper in water and tear it.

Do the same for the second day and so on, until you feel that there is nothing to write.

Grace

I want to let you know that the man who was bothering me has lessened his advances. This is unprecedented. I will continue to thank and forgive until it stops.

I have not yet done the writing out exercise but I will try soon. Step by step everything is working.

Purpose of giving the forgiving exercise to Grace

Naran

A couple of questions had come to me asking why they should ask for forgiveness, when others have done the mistake.

I hope the above story will convince you now. Anyway, I will offer some explanation here.

Don’t take any words literally (I will post few articles on this topic).

When we do the forgiving exercise, we break off from our problem situation.

Otherwise, our thoughts and feelings about the situation – I mean our connection to the problem situation, will sustain it further.

You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

Getting Ready for the Next Job

Reply to Suja by Naran S. Balakumar

Read your mail.

You have not received a job offer yet, in spite of having completed your post-graduation as a rank holder nine months ago. I know that you have done your diploma in Business Management too.  Congratulations!

You have mentioned that you are feeling frustrated, dejected, getting angry, as well as blaming god and others for your situation. Given the situation this is the normal reaction we can expect from anyone.

Think Differently

What did you learn in your Management course? One has to think differently to find a solution. Therefore, think differently. Find out whether your thoughts and feelings are energizing you or they are draining you. These feelings will not only keep you in the same state of not getting a job, but will make your life stagnate too.

Get Into the State of Employment  

Since you are a mathematics student, I will explain this in the form of a mathematical equation.

X = Y + 10, where X is the event of not getting a job and Y is your present state of mind. You do not have a direct influence over X. But, you can change Y into Y-1 or Y-2., which will in turn affect and change X. I mean, if you change your state of mind (Y), X cannot remain the same. Because Y has changed, X has to change too. Thus a state of unemployment will change into a state of employment. 

Utilize the Lean Period

Think differently. You have to utilize this dark period. Accept that this period is necessary for you. May be the learning is not yet over for you. Academically it may be over. But, learning has to be continued. Learn something new in this period. You need not pay for a course. You can pick up lot of stuff from Internet. Learn something more about subjects that are allied to your specialisation. Enjoy the interviews that come your way. You will learn what you don’t know. Fill up those gaps. Learn to listen.

Increase your self-esteem

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives. Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them. Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial. This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

Period of Relaxation

This will also make you a better person. You will learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors. When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

Self-Mastery is the Key

Learn about yourself. Understanding your mental state will be highly beneficial. Write a journal of the emotions you are feeling for one week. Also write about your reactions to events as well as your behavior. Watch your emotions and thought patterns. Put everything in writing. To your surprise, you will find a pattern in your behavior. This is your mental state in the past. This is going to be the mental state for your future if you don’t make changes to yourself. Circumstances may change. Events may change. But this is you.

Fulfillment At last

Therefore, utilize this period to effect a change where necessary. Release what you don’t need and develop more what you need. This self-rectification will help you in self-actualization. Self-actualization is nothing but self-fulfillment in life. Job is offered by god. The employer is only a tool. God is your employer. He will always do what is right and is required by you.

Chant OM NAMO BAGAVATHE.

Best of luck

Naran S Balakumar

70 Days Programme for Finding a Good Life Partner

Affirmations for finding your life partner – read the instructions after the list of affirmations

1.      God, the loving omnipresent, the all-providing source of all relationships is individualized in me.

2.      I elevate my mind and heart to understand that Divine Presence I AM is the source of all my relationships.

3.      I am conscious of the Divine Presence as my life partner.  I am also conscious of the constant activity of this higher mind of infinite love.  My consciousness is filled with this Truth.

4.      Through my consciousness of my Divine-self – My source of love – I draw and fill up my thoughts and emotions with the omnipresent Divine love.

5.      I am aware, I understand and know that the all-providing Divine mind manifests as my life partner at the right time.  My trust in this truth is guiding me.

6.      My Divine mind works instantly constantly according to my needs and desires and with the Divine love operating through me, I remain always fulfilled… and every desire of mine is fulfilled.

7.      The Divine love that I am, is forever expressing its nature of Abundant happiness.  My getting the life partner is the responsibility of the Divine Presence within.  I am totally confident in letting go all my worries and letting God appear as the life partner in my life.

8.      My awareness of the spirit within me as the source of my love is making my life new, lifting me up from the past.  I experience this Divine love manifesting in all walks of my life.

9.      Since I am aware that God-self is the only relation, I am totally fulfilled.  I have found the secret of life and now I relax with the belief that Divine love is eternally operating in my life.  I Continue to be aware of this flow of Divine love which is continuously easily pouring from my Divine consciousness.

10.  My entire focus is on God within, the only relation in my life.  The god – within is active in all my affairs and I see the Divine principle in action on my behalf.

Instructions for doing this 70 days exercise

1.      In 1st cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

2.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

3.      In second cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

4.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

5.      In third cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

6.      Leave a gap of 10 days, that is do not write the affirmation and just contemplate/meditate on the affirmation (for the day) for 10 days. Write the switch words, “CONCEDE CLEAR CENTRE FIND DIVINE PARTNER” 100 times daily

7.      In fourth cycle of 10 days – write one affirmation one day for 10 days. That is you will be writing 10 affirmations for 10 days.

Please ensure that this exercise is done daily on regular basis and if you miss this even on one day you have to restart the programme from the beginning.

My student is suffering from knee stiffness

One of my students, aged 59 years, is suffering from severe knee stiffness on her right knee. Sometimes it shifts to left knee too.

She has already learnt Reiki in Bombay. She has also learnt pranic healing.

Which mantra, or which Bach Flower Remedy can be given to her. She is already taking allopathic medicine. Can you please suggest?

Ganga Eswaran

There is an Ayurvedic product Danvantri Kulambu, sold in Ayurvedic shops. Ask her to apply it, daily on the knees and wash it with hot water after half an hour.

In addition, she needs to do the following:

1. Knees: (ask her to question within herself) in which areas of life she is inflexible?

Love is more important than any principles.

Let her chant, “Let divine love manifest within and around me”.

2. Let her take Bach flower remedies “ROCK WATER WALNUT HORNBEAM”.

3. Ask her to extend her thanks to her parents.

If she does not have good relationship with her parents, ask her to do the forgiving exercise.

Naran

Explanation

Rock Water: to reduce stubbornness and be flexible. Instead of living by principles alone, lead the life with Love

Walnut: move on with life, instead of getting stuck up with something or some emotion

Knees: will get affected if we have issues with parents. Issue with Mother will affect left knee and issue with father will affect right knee.

Refer this link to know more on how body is affected by our emotions and thoughts: http://healbymindbodymessages.wordpress.com/

Forgiveness Exercise: if you (Raju) have to forgive your mother then affirm, “I Raju forgive you my mother.  Please forgive me and release me”. Please note that this will release the anger about the concern person and not the relationship itself.

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