Not getting any results

Jyothi

Regarding the solutions you had given me earlier.  I did as you said but had a lot of problems with friends and looks like I cannot even talk to her anymore!! Why Naran?

I kept the paper with me and wrote whatever you said and chanted “FIND DIVINE ORDER” throughout too.  I don’t know sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong or if these words work at all!!

I am also chanting Ambika Slokam, “FIND DIVINE job COUNT NOW DONE” for a job and getting nowhere with anything. Is there any switch words for getting a job and getting friends? I chant WATER VIOLET too whenever I can.

Please can you guide me? Am I doing something wrong? I also chant “FORGIVE LOVE THANK YOU”. I read a lot of the posts and chant a few things that relate to my situation.

When will the words work and produce results Naran? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Naran

There is nothing wrong in your doing.

The only problem we all face is when we want something we hang on to the result so intently that we don’t allow the divine to work and fulfill our desires.

Chanting is the tool. The mind should be on chanting and not on the end result.

One should understand that human beings cannot achieve anything with his own limited knowing.

One should just wish and release it to the divine field for completion.

Your constant worry or anxiety prevents your wish to enter the divine field.

Release all your anxiety and just chant.

When you stop worrying you are detached from the result. This detachment is necessary to understand the work of the divine. That means one detaches to surrender (SAMARPANAM) and prays for the fulfillment.

What is prayer?

Pray, “Oh DIVINE! I ASPIRE, DETACH and SURRENDER. FULFILL if it is THY ORDER”.

Jyothi, Relax! There is time for everything.

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I love to take control of my life

Naran

1. Reflect on your life.
2. Find in what situation you blamed others. Forgive them.

Who is the controller of your life?

Is it me? You cannot control your life. If you fall down you will have to go to the hospital. I do not have control. Then what is the meaning of this statement. When I surrender to the Divinity only, I will take control of my life.

Let us go deeper now. I am not the doer and Divine is the doer. This we will accept lovingly.

Here we have to cultivate the habit that you are not the doer. What happens when I am the doer? Everything will be wrong then. But everything goes right when you think that Divine is the doer. When you think that Divine is the doer, there will be surrender.

A tendency to blame others

We always have the tendency to blame others. We say, “I didn’t have proper sleep because my wife always disturbs me,” When there is no power supply we blame the government. When I am hurt in an accident, we say, “I was properly walking but that auto fellow came and hit me”.

In ordinary life, for each and every situation or event we will be blaming others. Who is spoiling me in my life? When you blame others you have to remember that he is also not the doer. Nobody is responsible for this.

When I am not the doer we happily accept that. When your work is blocked or delayed, the divine is waiting for the right time and he is the doer. When you bring this thinking you can take control of your life.

“My Mother is the cause of my husband’s death”, a case history

One mother and daughter are there. Daughter is married and more than 45 years old, living in a foreign country. About five years back her father expired. The mother has three daughters and all are away.

Mother used to disturb the daughters telling that somebody has to come and look after her. In their caste only the daughter has to look after the mother it seems. I asked the daughter to cut the cord (between the mother and her).

One day, the mother asked the daughter, “Suppose if your husband dies, whether you will come back to me”. The son-in-law died after three months. From then on the daughter could not forgive her mother at all. Whenever she sees her mother she becomes angry. But that lady is a philosophical lady.

The daughter came to me and told that even after taking the Bach Flower Remedies Holly and Willow she could not be alright. I told her that Holly and Willow say to you that you have to change your attitude.

When you say that you are not the doer, then you think that your mother is also not the doer. Keep chanting. “I am not the doer, she is not the doer and Divine is the doer”. After chanting this for one hour her heart became lighter. For the next two days she was chanting this and she became completely alright.

Till such time you are blaming others you are not in control of your life. So, whatever may be the problem, think that the Divine is the doer! The problem will be solved automatically. Then only you can take control of your life. 

Goal is to find harmony and happiness

“Arise Awake and Stop Not Till the Goal is Reached” – Swami Vivekananda

Who is to be blamed if there is no harmony within the family?

In any situation, when one finds oneself opposed, confronted, misunderstood, blamed or being overthrown,  one either feels angry or feels  depressed  or worried.

What is to be tackled here – your mind or him? Everybody wants to change the other person. What is the hidden situation here?

If you want the other person to change, should you not think about changing yourself?  Without ourselves changing, we cannot change others.

If there is disharmony then both are responsible for that and both have to change. This is simple logic.

How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life?

1. Ask a simple question to yourself.  What do I want?
2. What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want?
3. What behavior of mine or my action will take me – move, towards this goal?
4. On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?

If you are 100% sure that your anger or resentment or longing for love, care, affection can take you to harmony or the desired goal, you can have anything.

But once you decide (Itcha Sakthi) that only my endurance or forgiveness can achieve my goal then take the appropriate action (Kriya Sakthi) that is conducive to the goal of harmony, love and understanding.

In other words, your thought, your expression, and your behavior should be conducive towards your goal.

If you think that forgiveness, love and gratitude can achieve this, bring them in your thoughts, expressions and behavior.

The disadvantages of being in a state of victim

The only thing that may interfere in your progress is your ego.

A state of mind which cannot achieve what is desired is a state of victim.  Having known that this victim state cannot achieve, why do you hang on to it?

• Not knowing that my state of mind prevents me from achieving my aim is the first blunder.
• Having known that a particular state of mind – victim mentality, cannot achieve what you want and doing nothing about it is the second blunder.

Once you come to know that forgiveness alone, endurance alone, kindness and gratitude alone, can achieve what you want, then go all out for that, with full of courage and moral will.

This is what I meant when I said “BRING IN INTERNAL CHANGE”.

We may fail in the course of time. But don’t be upset over failure. Failure is just a reminder to correct our attitude and move forward.

Meet your commitments to your body

From the “I Love Myself” Workbook

Do the following exercise

• What should you eat and what you should not eat.  Make a list and follow that to the core.

Sometimes body does not accept certain types of food. Yet, we try to eat the same food again and again.

Instead you have to prepare a list of items which you can eat and list out all those which your body does not accept.

When you prepare the list you are giving a commitment to your body and you need to follow that.

• Another thing is that whatever ways you behave outside we behave in the same manner with the body too. “I should not say this because the other person will be wounded”. Thinking like this, to please him, we tell a lie.

When you can’t meet a commitment, don’t make one

Suppose someone invites us for wedding. To please him we say that we will come definitely. But, we do not go to the wedding at all. I have also committed such mistakes.

Later on I found out that when I say something it is not a commitment to that person but it is a commitment to the God. I questioned myself, “Am I cheating the universe”?

Then I decided to tell the truth. If I am able to go I will say yes. Otherwise, I will say that I will not be able to make it.

Like that if you tell me that you are meeting me next week then it means that you are not making a commitment to me but you are committing to the Universe.

Commitment to our body

If one food is not being accepted by the body, we tell that I should not eat this food again. This is a commitment that you are giving to the Universe.

Next time when we eat that food again then we are breaking our own commitment.

The Universe is always watching all of us because it is the web of life. If I have to get my food at 1 p.m., it is already decided that it will come from a particular person.

By restraining yourself by not eating certain food, you are honoring your own body.

Love is the True Reality

(Extracted From the book – ‘I Love Myself Workbook’)

1. Reflect on this – ‘Love is the True Reality’.
2. Ask the questions, “Why” and “How”.
3. Think why and how.
4. When you ask the question “Why”, you must get an answer.
5. Then ask the other question “How”?

Why and How Love is the true reality?

You have to do them leisurely. You must ask the question – “Why love is the true reality?” All of us want to be loved first. At that time, self is longing for love. If you see the world, you will know how it has become true.

To understand essence of “I love myself” I have given you this exercise.

We are all connected

We are having our lunch, that food is cooked by some body, somebody is ordering this food. So how many people’s energy is there in the food?

 Somebody is ordering the food to the owner. So he is also connected with the food.

It is connected to the cook, and the packers.

It is connected to the transporter who brings the food.

If he has to come here, there should be a road which is laid by somebody and therefore it is connected to that person.

What is the menu? Let us say rice, and chapatti. So there is rice, wheat, oil etc. Wheat is grown by somebody and sold by somebody.

From there, who brings the wheat and rice to the public?

Not make me feel hungry, so many people are working and so many people are connected. It is the intention of the divine that you should not go hungry which made so many people to work for you.

Do everything with Love

So that is the reality. Whether all of them work with love or not, is a different question!

But what is the motivating factor behind all their work. Is it Divine the motivating force or the love of the Divine that is making all these people work for you?

 We pay the price for this. So you pay it with gratitude. Instead we try to bargain when we want to pay someone. When we go to big shops we pay whatever they say. However, when a person brings green vegetables to our home, we bargain.

It happens because of Love

If we understand “Love is true reality” we will not make such mistakes. Everything is moved in this world because of love. Nothing else other than love moves this world.

If we know this, we definitely will start giving love and we will be definitely be loved by all.

Everything is connected with the web of life – the Divine Web of Love.

We ignore our body, yet it loves us

When a child is born, the date and time is fixed by the Divine.

All the organs of the body, what do they do? They work properly for some time. If we commit some mistake the organ gives us some pain. But it will somehow try to help us.

So, if the body is not there, we are not here. However, we are not giving respect to the body that it deserves. This includes me too.

If we understand that love is the true reality, we can understand how much our body loves us. Somehow it balances, in spite of our mistakes.

You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

I Deserve Respect

How to deserve more respect in your life?

Do the following:

1.       Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?

2.       Are you able to respect one and all?

Weigh the amount of respect you give to others

Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.

What is the meaning of respect? It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.

A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history

I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.

When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings. After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.

This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.

Roles do not define a person

We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.

If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect. We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.

To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do? We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.

How to give respect to others

1.       You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.

2.       ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.

Treat everybody humanly

If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.

 If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives. Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.