You Can Change Your Spouse

Ms. M

My husband has been having extra marital affairs with many women (about 14 to date) for the past 12 years. He gets into a rage when I question him. He sees 3 women on diff days. He makes me miserable and depressed.

He runs his own business. All his customers/friends cover up and book the hotels on their name for him. He tells me he is at a meeting but goes and sleeps with women.

He has divorced me last year and blames me all the time but we are living together for my kids’ sake. He compares me to other women and makes me insecure. He tells me that he can find many super models and sleep with them and I can’t do anything because we are divorced.

I got nothing; I resigned from work last year because I had a nervous breakdown. He is having a complete makeover even to the extent of skin whitening. My in-laws hate me and they’ve been doing black magic to me because they want everything I worked hard for. They are responsible for him being that way. They encourage him to do wrong and they turn my kids against me. My mother-in-law puts things in the food for us to fight but my ex doesn’t see it.

I pray so hard for all those women to get caught with him but I feel I’m not winning. All I want is my husband, kids, peace and happiness back. He must stop sleeping around. Pls help me.

Naran

Don’t see anything outside. See within.

Address your emotions. The same emotional state will bring the same results outside. Without changing your state of mind, you cannot affect an iota of change outside in anybody.

Only higher emotions like forgiveness, love will help you.

Your present emotional state, every second alters your inside chemistry and your nervous breakdown vindicates that.

When do our nerves (communication channel) break down? When you ignore the message of the body? You have a nervous breakdown because you are unable to bear what is happening around you.

But your body wants you “to bear”, to endure”. Endurance only will bring in what you want.

Having vengeance will bring in more vengeance. Having hatred will make others hate you more.

“Can they not be taught a lesson?” This thought will teach “you” a lesson.

“Will they not change?” The body asks back to you, “Will you not change?”

“Will I not win?” Win yourself first. Win your emotions and thoughts first. Evolve with higher emotions. You will win.

Life is not a war to win or lose. Life is love – giving and receiving – transaction of love. Give even when you don’t receive. Think anything as an issue to be handled with love. Bring peace to the war going on within.

This alone will help you. Concentrate on something else.

Chant “QUIET MIND, OPEN HEART, RELAX”, daily 1000 times.

Karma Vs Free Will

(From a telephone conversation)

Ranga

On one hand, you say our life is pre-destined. On the other hand, you also say we need to heal ourselves. I think, you are contradicting yourself.

Naran

As you are calling me, I am trying to fix my scissors, which is broken – one side of it is blunt, and so I am not able to use it. All of us know the fact that both the pieces of scissors are required for it to be useful, as one piece of scissors alone cannot do the job (of cutting).

Likewise, Karma and Free Will are two parts of healing that we have in life. One part alone cannot do the trick.

Healing transforms and changes a person.

Are we not using our free-will in our life?

No. We do every action unconsciously. We feel, think and behave over which we have no control as we feel and behave like a robot. Thus, we are operating from our lower free-will.

Healing uses higher free-will to bring internal change in a person, to effect a conscious behavior. Healing teaches you to choose the empowering emotions to change your attitude to your life. In addition, healing doesn’t alter anything outside of one. It is happening inside us.

What happens when we use our lower free-will?

When we use our lower free-will we are ruled by our emotions. For example, when there is a conflict, we use angry words. How can anger resolve anger (conflict)?

Thus, we add more to our karma, staying in troubled waters. How does somebody who is also in troubled water can save us? Only a person above the water – a person not influenced by his emotions, can help us. Such persons operate from their higher free-will, overcoming Karma and lessening it.

Both Karma and Healing help us learn our life lessons

Karma teaches us some lessons that make us whole and complete. If we don’t learn our lessons, our life is repeated in the same fashion – meaning the same karma in action.

So both, healing and karma do the same job in a different way. Both are required.

If somebody thinks that he can achieve anything in life by healing, he will fail for sure, as he is limited by his karma.

On the other hand, if somebody believes that he is destined to live in a particular way, then he will also fail, as we can heal our karma, by bringing an internal change.

What is an internal change? Internal change is nothing but evolving to ascend.

Thus, both Karma and Higher Free-will are required by us, to make our life whole and complete.

I am loved (by all)

Naran

Suja (name changed) asked me at the end of the workshop “I Love Myself”, whether she can pay a visit to her paternal uncle’s place. She was invited for a housing ceremony. She had some apprehensions because, her visits to her uncle’s always created tension and disharmony.

I told her it’s alright to go. If she faces any problems she can always leave the function midway.

She finished the workshop and did all the mental exercises I asked the participants to do. At the end of the workshop, I told the participants to complete all the exercises that they didn’t do in the class, within a week from the day of the workshop.

Somehow, Suja felt that she should at least do one exercise on the same day of the workshop and the day before she attends the function on Sunday. She picked the first one in the workbook, under the affirmation” I AM LOVED”. Instead of doing the exercises, she simply chanted the affirmation for more than an hour.

On Sunday, she visited her uncle’s house along with her husband. During the function one of her relatives lost six thousand rupees. Somebody stole it from him. The servant who works for her uncle was suspected of taking the money, though it couldn’t be proved.

During this commotion, Suja silently chanted the Bach Flower Remedies, “ROCK WATER and CHESTNUTBUD” – a good combination when you lose something.  Within an hour, her uncle was able to get a confession from his servant, as well as the money that she stole.

Her uncle asked Suja what she was doing during the commotion as she was seemed to be in a trance the whole time. She replied that she was chanting the name of flower remedies. He was happy to hear this and his family, friends and relatives too. They openly complimented her for her selfless efforts. On hearing it, she got elated and felt loved.

I came to know the whole story through her husband who thought I am the reason for the appreciation she received from her relatives, who were always ill-treating her.

Explanation

She picked the one affirmation from the workbook, which was the need for the hour. And what made her to pick that? It was picked by that part of her mind that was activated because she did all the exercises sincerely. She is one of my students who religiously do whatever I tell them to do. Interestingly even though she was listening to the “I Love Myself” CD for more than a month, only after doing the exercises she was able to tap the resource that helped her to receive the love that she expecting from her uncle.

Lessons Learned

For some issues, you will find solution easily. Even for issues that are pending to be resolved for several years can be resolved easily by following a simple technique. However, some other issue mayn’t die down easily. You need to do a lot of work to resolve it. For the same reason, I want my fellow travelers in the healing path not to give up on their chronic problems and instead dig deeper to solve them.

Also note that there is no single technique that is applicable to everyone in the world. What works for one – say a Mudra technique to reduce heart palpitation, may not work for others. They may need Bach Flower Remedies as well Gem remedies. In addition, what works today may not work tomorrow.

Therefore, be open to various healing methods. Have Trust in the one divine power to find out what will work for you today. Surely Divine is waiting out there to help you out.

Good Luck